Only a matter of time part seven

“So do you have any rules for dating?”becky asked him. “Well i never really wrote it down. She has to be a belever. More then that,she has to show signs of spiritual growth and has to keep growing. I want her to have a growing faith. We have to have similer goals.a similar misson. I feel called to pastor a church in the united states. If a  lady felt called to a foregn field that would not be a good fit. Parental involvement is must. Both my parents and hers. “He said.

“I dont believe in casual dating myself.  Any dating should contain an expectations that mariege is a posibility. ” he told her. 

“Does she have to be independent fundamental baptist?”becky asked. He blushed a bit. She could tell that she hae put him on the spot. “No. Not necessarily.  I gues i assumed that she would be i.v.b but it is not necessarily a deal breaker if she is not. I want her to love the lord. I want her to be a partner in the ministry. ” he said.  

“I can tell that you have really thought. I assume that you want to be married? “Becky asked.  He smiled. “I do.  ” he responded. “I thought you did but i figured i would ask. “She said “by the way you talk i assume you also desire to be married. “He remarked. 

“I do. I am not guy crazy but i do thibk about it. Ok maybe i am. ” she said.  “So does your future husband have to be penticostal?” he asked “i would say no. I gues i assumed he would be. I know a lot of evengelical churches churches now embrace the gifts of the holly sprit.  I want someone who loves the lord. I want to be involved in some kind of ministry.  I want to be maried to someone i can partner with in the ministry stry.”she said. 

Something went off in his mind.  He got so happy. He felt like things were starting to fall into place.  He felt like this waa some kind of signal.  He never thought this would happen.

“Do you want to be in full time ministry? ” he asked. “Definently Definently! “She answered enthusiastically.  “Would you be oppen to becoming a pastor’s wife?” he asked.  

She later admitted to him that after they started dating that she totaly misinterpreted that question. She took it as academic.  It did not occur to her that he was giving essentially a pre perposal perposal.

“Yes i would be open to being a pastor’s wife. “She told him. “Oh good! “He said. She was surprised that he was as happy as he was with that answer. It had not occurred to her that he was giving a hint hint. Had she realized what he had been implying,he might have given a different answer. 

In retrospect, she was glad that she did not know what he was getting at. Both felt that the lord was briging them together.  It was in a behind the scenes kind of way. It all worked out. It worked out in a way no one could have anticipated.  

Today she was she was not ready to even think about a relationship with Kevin.  It did not even enter her radar. She considered him a friend but not a potential love interest. It did not occur to her that he did feel that way. In her mind they were too different for such a union.  She figured that he would see that that way.

She would have shocked if she knew that he felt the way he did. She did not even suspect that she might like her. Despite the failure to speak the same language they were brought closer together.  

“I am surprised that you are not romantically involved with anyone. “She commented. “I dont date to date.  I have never had any peace about pursuing anyone.there were some i almost asked out. I felt so jitery that i had to back off. You know i have never been on a date. “Kevin said. 

“Never? “She asked.  “Never! “He answered.  “Your ok with that?”she asked.  “Not always.  I have been tempted to rush a head.i almost did on a couple of occasions. I believe that God is in control.  I know he has a plan. I have to trust him.it is not always easy. I wish i could say i always handled in in the correct manner but i have not. Right now i am at peace with it. ” he said.

“Are you sure she is out there? “She asked.  “I am certain of it. “He answered.  From what i have observed, you are a godly person. Your sensitive to God”s will. I know you will make a fine husband.  “She said. 

“I know that you will make a great wife. “He told her. “You really think so? You have not caught me at my best. I was afraid that you would think the opposite. “She declared. 

“I know it gnawed at you. I see the pain in your eyes. I know that pain.you know the lord. Sometimes we learn from our failures more then our strength.  When we repent we see the power of God’s grace. Forgiveness is a vital part with God. We should never sin that grace mwy abound. When we do sin we do have an advocate with the farther. I see that in you.  God will use that in your future ministry. I know that.  You have many qalities of a good wife. Your active in the things of the lord. You will make a great wife. ” he told her. 

“So! How will you know when you have met the person God has for you? “She asked. “I am trusting in the lord. I know he has a perfect plan. “He answered.

“I am not sure how i will know. Right now i am very werry. I dont realy want to think about it. I dont want to miss it. Jake was a distraction. I hope becuase of that i wont miss what he has for me or who.”she said. 

They discused this conversation later after they had oficialy gotten together.  “Why didn’t you say anything that day kev?”she asked him.”i wanted to. I suspected that it was not the right time. I did want to scream hello im hear. “He said. She huged him and said. “Yes you are. “She said. 

“What if i do miss it?”she asked. “Keep looking. Though it terry wait for it. I know i am taking that verse out of  context.  “He said. “I wont tell anyone. ” she said.they both laughed. 

He later told her that he so badly wanted to tell her how he felt. He knew that it was not the right time. She told him that it would not have been.  “I would not have understood. I was not ready them. Some things take time. This was one of them hunnie. “She told him.

“I understand that. It was hard .it was not easy waiting.  It was Definently worth it.  ” he said.she kissed him. 

“Right not your weary.  Keep looking for Gods directionin this.keep watching for that person. Keep waiting.  This is important Becky. “He told her.  “You have my assurance on that. “She said.

She had no idea why this waa so important to him. In retrospect it made perfect sence. He believed that she would realize that he was the one God had for her in time. He had no idea when that would be. He decided to trust the lord in this. 

They decided that they should probably be going.he walked her to her car.  “I had a really good time this morning.  He smiled as he said it. She smiled back. “I did too. I am really glad we got to do this. “She said. 

“We will have to do this again sometime. “He said. “Absolutely.  I would love to. I always enjoy sending time with you!” she told him. 

“I really enjoy spending time with you as well. “He told him. “I will see you around!  She said “you got it. “He said.be watched her drive off. He really enjoyed being with her.  Things were starring to fall into place. He was excited to see how it would progress.

End of part seven. 

 

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Only a matter of time part six 

Kevin had gone though the gamut of emotions that Saturday.  He went from highest highs abd lowest lows and everything in between.  

That day,he had been ready to engage in preemptive thowing in of the towel with becky. He had mentally given up. Then Becky threw him a life line. One in retrospect changed everything.  That had made him sad because that was not what he really wanted to do. Then she called him.

Both would agree that this was a huge turning point in there relationship.  What could have totpedoed any chance of a future made then closer. At times there family was built on swet and tears but also on prayer,love understanding . it worked because it was built. It was carefully constructed. It was done though a thoughtful process. 

He was able to get to sleep fairly easy that night. He slept soundly until norning. He felt rested and ready for another day. He was ready and waring to go. 

After breakfast,he got ready for church. He saw his sister. “You seam different today. You seam hapier. Its almost like yesterday never happened.  “Sarah remarked.

He smiled. “Beck called me. She apologized for last night. It was more then that. I cant explain it “he told her. “I think i understand. “She said.

“Every time i think its time to walk away,there is something that keeps bringing me back. Something that stops me. “He told his sister.  

“Do you realy think she is the person God has for you?”sarah asked.”not to a certenty. I think its possible.  I am assuming no until i get a firm yes.”he told her.

“I know i need to tread lightly. I know i am getting ahead of myself.i need to slow down. I do not see a go ahead to keep going. “He said.

“You have changed in the last three years. You have grown. You have matured. You have alowed the lord to work in your life. You probably have the gift of preaching.  I am fairly sure you do. Now you are really preparing to go into ministery.mayby its time to find a wife,a partner. It makes sense. “She said.

“I cant believe i am even considering this but i am. “He said.”i dont feel you should walk away. Maybe you should slow down. ” she said.  “I do intend to take it slow”he said. 

“Just seak the lord. Be in his word. I know that you are. Keep doing it.”sarah said. 

“I will “he assured her.”ok good. “Sarah answered. “I will. “He assured her. “Ok.”she said.”i realy do care about her. “He said. “I know that. “She said. 

Kevin knew that they had a long way to go before they coukd date. There were a lot of unanswered questiones. A lot of things would have to be worked out. 

He beleved that God had brought them together.  It would work itself out. He beleved that has a plan. He was perparing them. He beleved she was part of her overall plan for there life. He did not fully understand it. He did believe it he was excited to see how it all played out. 

That Monday he got a call from becky.”hi beck. “He said,”hey kev.would you be available for cofee. Just the two of us?”she asked.

“I would love to. How is tomorrow morning?  “Kev asked. “Sounds great. I promise i wont ignore you this time.  “She told him. He chuckled. “Ok! “He said. “I will see you there. “She said. “You bet. “He said. 

Tuesday morning.  He was eaiger to get up. He got up. He got right up and got ready. He showered and got ready. 

He had a spring in his step that he did not have before. He could not wait to see her. He arived a bit earlier then they had planned. Within a few minutes of his puling in,her car pulled up. He smiled when he saw her. She saw him and smiled back. 

She parked the car. She turned off the engine. She got out of the car.she wore a ounk t shirt black skirt and flip flops. “Hi!”he said. “Hey there.”she said. 

They walked to the door of the cofee shop. He held the door for her. She thanked him. They walked inside.  He incisted in paying. 

After they got the donuts and cofee they went to the table and and sat down. She smiled at him.he smiled back. “Its really good to see you. “He told her. “Its good to see you kev.i need to thank you forva few things. “She told him. “Oh!”he said.

“First of all,thank you for being so gracious. Thank you forgiving me. The way you handled it was very godly. “She said.  “I apreciate how you handled it. As i said i was hurt. I apreciate your heart felt apology. I was heartned that you were concernee enough to come to me.  “He said. 

“It was hard to admit that i was wrong.  I knew i was.  I knew i could not let the night go by wuthout apologizing to you. I did not want to end the night without making things right. ” she said. 

“I am really glad you did. I was glad we went to bed on good terms. My heart was very heavy before you called. ” he told her. 

“I figured. I really wanted to make things right with you.  The other thing i wanted to thank you for.”she said.  “You have me curious. “He said. 

“My relationship with God has not always gone in a straght line. It has ebbed and flowed. A few years ago,i reqly got serious about my relationship with the lord.  I made the decison to go to bible college. I got more serious sense then. As i got serious saten was right there.i dodged a quite alot of his missiles.he kept coming. We not as strong as we believe we are. ” she said.

“I want you to know that i have stopped hanging out with jake. You can probably tell he is a bad influence on me. It is not his fault. I chose to give in. I chose to be distracted.  I chose the good over the very best. I knew i should not even consider dating jake. “She said.

“I knew he was completly wrong for me. I broke my own rules. You see a couple years ago,i wrote down a few guidelines for dating.  I never realy told anyone. ” she said.

“What are your rulles?” he asked. “Well i have to date someone i could marry.  Marriage has to be a distinct posibility. Not that i will mary the person but i could.  It has to be reasonable for me to think that i could mary the person.  I dont beleve in casual dating. That has to be parental involvement. That did not happen with me and jake. ” 

“The last one is that any red flags had to be dealt with. They could not be ignored. They have to be examoned and worked though. I did not do that. Saterday. Your demeanor. Without saying a word,i saw your face. It trigered something in me. I rejected it at first. When i got home it really hit me. ” she said. 

“I could not ignore it i went home and i confrounted what i knew i needed to do. I thew up my hands and ok lord i am steping out of the way. It was like a huge weight was lifted from me. I knew i had to sever ties with him. It is hard but i am glad i did. ” 

“I did this bacause you challenged me to do this. I owe you a big thanks. This was a big gift. I wont forget it.” she told him. 

“I had no idea. I am glad i could have this affect. I did not set out to have that influence.  I am glad that it did happen. I want to be a godly influence.  I prase God for that.  ” he said. 

“I am glad you did.  I see that this is who you are. You seam to have a consistent walk with God.  “She said. “I am a sinner. I wish i was.i struggle with giving into the flesh like every belever does.  I am glad that you see evidence in me of growth.  “He said 

She found it so refreshing for her to hear the way he talked. he was quute an encouragement for her. His love for the lord was clearly evident.  She was certain of that. She saw her heart that day. It was unavoidable.  She enjoyed talking to him. She could freely talk about spiritual things with him. He loved that.  

He was never not up to discussing sprituel things. He was sensitive to the things of the lord. That was clear to her. He revelared much of his heart to her that day.  

“So do you have any rules for dating?”she asked.  “Well i have never written them down. Has to be a belevor. More then that she has to show signs of sprituel growth and growing. I would like her and i to have similar goals.  I feel caled to be a pastor in the united sates. If a lady feels called to a foregm fiekd, we would not be a goid fit. Perental involvement is a must. Both sets of perents.”he said.

“Does she have to be i.f.b?”she asked. He blushed a bit. She could tell that she had put him on the spot. “Not necessarily.  I gues i assumed that she would be i.v.b. if she is not it is not a deal breaker. I want her to love the lord and i want her to be a partner in the ministry. ” he said.

End of part six.  

Holding hands part ten

Derek woke up the next morning around 7:00. Subday school started at 9:45. He was groggy at first.  He slowly came to his sencess. He then remembered what lexi had said to him. 

He showered and went down to breakfast. He was glad that the house had two batheooms or he never would have a chance at getting a shower especially on Sunday.  

After his shower, he went down stairs.  “Good morning. “Derrek said.everyone said good morning back. Derrek tried not to think about this decison right now.

He tried to focus on the services. He taught a sunday school class. He wanted to be used of the lord in that class. He wanted the lord to be able to cominicate to him in the maine service.  He prayed for focus. He was glad that he was able to focus on the service that day. 

That saterday night lexi got home and went right to her bed room. She was flooded with emotion. She cried a bit. She had beem so sure that this was God’s will. She stil was. 

Could he realy reject Gods will? Could he realy walk away? Could he leave all this behind forever?  She knew it had to be his decison.  Her life was literally on hold until he made his decison.  She tried to remain calm until then. 

The next day she went to her church. She went home and had dinner. She read some that afternoon.  She tried not to be troubled by all that was going on. She waa determined to go to his church that night even though she knew that it would be hard for her to do so. 

That afternoon, he spent time with his family. He helped his brother with the drone. His dad read a missionary book. Then they got ready for church. 

He walked into the church. He went right to the main auditorium. He looked around for lexi. There she was. He walked over to her. She was talking to a couple of people in the church. They had gotten used to her being in the church. “Hi lex. “He said. She did not smile like she usualy did. She did manege to get a hi in. 

They sat down. Neither one attempted physical contact.  “How are you doing?” he asked. “Doing fine!” she reaplied. “How was your church? “He asked. “Very penticostal!” she said. He laughed. 

They were mostly silent until the service begun. She realy enjoyed the message.  She liked pastor carlson’s preaching. After the service ,several church members came up to him. They always made her feel so welcomed. He walked her to her car. 

“Well have a good night!”he told her. “You too. “She said. He opened the door for her. She steped inside.they said there final goodbyes. He watched her drive off. He stood there for a couple of seconds.  Then he went to the house that was next door.  Once he arived, he went inside. 

“Are you two ok?” his mom asked. “Yea. We are fine!” he said. “Ok just making sure. “She said. “You two are usually very playfull. You usualy bantor and play off eachother. You did not do that tonight. “His farther said. “No we are fine.”he tried to assure them. 

He read in his devotions about eve and the fall of man. He wrote down some observations. The women was created from adam’s rib. She was literily a part of him. He called her flesh of his flesh.  Lex beleved that she was created for him and vice versa. On that point he decided that it was plausible. 

He concluded that lex could have been created to be his future wife. He beleved that there was no way to know for sure that was the case. In genises three,there was no formula given for how a husband should chose a wife. He Fell asleep while meditating on these verses.he woke up the next day when his alarm went off. 

He decided to talk to his dad in private.  “Dad. I wanted to talk to you about simomething in private?”derek asked. “I had a feeling you would be stoping by. ” his dad said. ” hear is my problem. I find it hard to believe that the lord would cominicate though a prophetic word. That lex and i should get maried. It makes no sense. “He told his dad. 

“Do you think that you should not marry her?”he asked. “The marriage would be built on the word.that is a bad fondation.everything that happened after is a byproduct of that declaration.  I cant get passed that. ” derrek said.

“You do like her?”his dad asked. “Yes i do. ” Derrek said. “You do want to be with with her””his dad asked. “I do . i am just not sure i should. “He answered. 

“Whenever a young man comes to me and says he wants to get maried,my first question is is she saved.  I have no doubt lexi is a belever. My next question is does she show evidence of sprituel growth?  Does she have a strong faith? I am confident that you can answer yes to those questions.  “His dad said.”yes i would agree with that. ” he said. 

“Do you beleve that she would be an aset to in any future ministry?”pastor carlson asked. “I defiantly do. She has gifts,skils and abilities that would be helpful. She is certainly is a people person. She probably be has the gift of encouragement.  She seems to be an ideal canidate to be a pastors wife. She could be multiple ministries.  I believe that she could definently compliment any ministery i might have.  ” derrek said. ” i would agree with that. “His dad said.

“My next question is do you beleve that she could encourage you to do good works. Not just in ministery but in everyday life. Will she be a good influence? Now everyone has an off day. Will she have a good influence in your life?” his farther asked.

“Yes i do. She has been a good influence in my life in the short time i have known her. I have no reason to think she wont be in the future. ” derek said. 

“Have you seen evidence that she has good charicter and integrity?  Does she have a good reputation?” pastor carlson asked. ” yes i do believe that she has good charicter and integrety. ” derrek said. “Everything i have seen that makes me agree with that conclusion. Many in the church have told me how impressed they are with her. “The pastor said.  
 

“I believe she would make a good wife,a great mom and a great partner. I think that she would make a great partner in a ministry. Nothing about her even her penticostal background seems to be a hinderence. “Derrek said.”i agree. It was a concern at first but i am not as concerned at this point. “His farther said. 

“For me the issue is the word. While i met her prior to the word,it was breef. The linch pin of our romantic life if you will was the word. The word brought us to where we are today. I am sure i can acept a relationship that begin with the word. How can the lord possibly bless it?” Derrek asked.

“Lets say that the word never happened. You said that you had a report before the word. What if your romance grew wirhout the word? Would you have the same reservations?” he asked.  “No i dont think i would. I cant ignore the word. “He said.  “I understand tbat. I do agree but lets look at wvery facet of this. She does meet the orther criteria. Lets not dismiss it out of hand.  ” he said.

“I know that. She is very godly. She has a lot that is praise worthy.  I cannot get pass the word. Had the word not occured,would anyrhing else that occured would it have? I have no idea. I find that troubling. “Derrek said.

“God desires a young man to leave his parrents and to form a new family with his wife. Some he calls to be single. A godly mariege brings hournor to the lord. Your mom and i are hardly perfect but i thank the lord every day for her. I could not have asked for a more godly wife. I am very thankfull for her. I believe that lexi will be a good wife to whoever she maries. From a biblic standpount she has good qalities. The word does change things. “His dad said. 

“If the word is incorect how can the union? If the word is untrue how can anything else be of the lord? If the word is false doctrine how can i go any further?” Derrek asked. 

“If that is the case why not just end the relationship?  Why agonize over it? “His dad asked. “I do like her. We do click. We conect.i dont knoe why but we do. I realy enjoy spending time with her. ” Derrek said. 

“Your very divided right now?”his dad asked. “Yes i am. I know its not healthy.  I just cant come to a difinitive conclusion. ” Derek said.

“At this point your in a kind of limbo. ” his dad commented. “Worse. Lex is in limbo. “Derrek said.”you have to take that into consideration.  This affects her as well.  “Pastor  Carlson said. ” i do know that. I respect that. ” derrek said. 

“Were it not for the phophethic word, i would have no problem suporting your relationship with her. I understand your apprehension.  ” he told her.

“Are you pushing for us to be together? “Derrek asked. “No. You have not really been intetested in dating before . mom and i were curious why you were not intetested in dating. Some thing has changed inside of you. Its like you have come alive. There is a spark in you that was not there before.  You care about her. You have to seak the lord in this. He never wants his will to be a secret. He says so. Search it out.” his dad told him.

“I just dont see how i cam justify it.i realy think i may have to tell her that i cant persue this. “Derrek said. “Seek the lord. He will give you the stregth to do what you need to.” his farther said. 

Derrek wished that he could just get an answer.  He was really confused. He was prety sure that he had no choice but to end all this. He felt that that was how it had to be.

He continued his srudies into marriage in the bible. He looked at how Isaac found his wife. Abraham sent his nost trusted servent to find a wife for his beloved son. Rebecca was open to it. Many feel that the servent is a type of the holy sprit. Rebecca like lexi apeared to be a bit of a spitfire.  He was not sure the paralel were real. 

He prayed a lot that night.  Her prayed for wisdom.  He prayed for a difinitive answer. He prayed for the courage to obey when he did get the answer. He tried to be patcient. It was hard to be patcient.

After a time of prayer,he went to bed. He let his mind waunder before he fell asleep.  He fell asleep and slept until morning.

He went downwtairs and eat breakfast.  His mom and dad were at the table. “Your dad said that your reevaluating your relationship with lexi? “Anna asked. “Yes. Lexi wants me to have a firn decison.  I am working on it. “Derrek said. “Any headway?”his dad asked.”not yet!”Derek said. 

 That night he went ovet jacob and leah,rachelle and labin. He read about samoson and delilah. Also ruth. He wished that there was a verse that said,thou shalt mary lexi. Even thou shalt not marry lexi would also be helpful.  He knew that would not happen.  

End of part ten