Holding hands part 13

“What about this seccond?”hilda asked.  ” am i interrupting something? “Dr. Micheal mcgaff the colege ptesident asked. “No sir. Not at all. “Derrek responded.

“When do i get to meet this alexa i have heard so much about?” he asked. “Soon i hope. Perhaps at the november retreat.  ” derrek said. “Please introduce us to you. Marta and i are looking froward to meeting her. “He said. “Of course.” derek said.

 Derrek thought to himself, “thank you lord.” he realized he was being an idiot. A few mouths later he spoke to doctor mcgaff about this event. The doctor admited that when he saw him talking to hilda,he felt that he needed to interveign  so he did. 

He did not have a problem with hilda.she was a Godly person. She did later mary and she and her husband had a family and served the lord. She just was not his will for derek. Doctor mcgaff preceved that. 

Derek realized that he was about to go down a path that he was already told not to.  When God closed a door you should not try to reopen it.he said a quick prayer and then went back to where everyone was gathered. He kinda wanted to leave. He did value the president and his family and the others in attendence. 

After a while when protical aloud he headed out. He went to the car and drove home. He called lexi. “Hi lex! “He said. 

“Hi you were at my church? “She asked.”yea. I sat down with pastor jeff. I got his perspective. ” he said. “Oh. Are you close to a decison?”she asked. “Not yet. I still have some questions.  The same isues i guess. “He said. 

” your window is closing fast. ” she told him. ” i realize that. “He saif. “So yes is still a posibility? ” She asked. “Yes of course. Why do you ask?” he asked. “I saw you with someone!” she said. “Oh. She is the grand daughter of a famous evangelist. We went on dates a few times. We decided not to persue it. ” he told her.

” alright. If you dont want this, its ok. We can move on. ” she said. ” no i still want us to be a posobility. ” he told her. “Ok. I am not sure why i called. Perhaps i just wanted to hear your voice.  I was cutious. “She said.

After that they hung up. Things were stil in doubt. She moved closer and closer to being ready to call it off. 

 That Saturday he decided to go to her church. He did not tell her that he was there. He saw her in the crowd singing. He had become more familar with the music. He sang along. He drew the line at hand raising.

He wanted to tell her he was there. He was not sure why he had come. He prayed a bit before the survice. He tried to avoid his brother and his family as well. He liked the message.  He left right after the service. She never knew he was there. He did tell her later. She was not suprised. 

He spent sunday afternoon in prayer and study.  He took a lot of notes. He wrote down thoughts. The more he thought on it, the less forthcoming these answers were. 

Lexi considered not coming to his church but she felt she needed to be there. It was hard for her to go. She had trouble finding her ambition . she did manage to get into the car and headed to the church. 

She walked in a hesitated mennor. She finaly made it to the auditorium. He looked up and saw her. “Hi !” he said.  She said ” hi” she sat down. They engaged in smal talk but said little of substence. After the service they talked to various people in the church. Then he walled her to the car.

She felt that things just were not the same between them. She wondered if it could be. She felt like both of them were in the wilderness.  She did not know how or if they could put it back together. She did not know what to do? Should she drop this request for a final decision. Should she break up with him? She became weary with everything.   

Derrek wanted to have a relationship with lexi. He had no idea if it was God’s will. What if it was not? Why did he feel the way he did for her? He knew he did. It was very confusing. 

Wendsday night came. She came to his church. ” its almost time!” she said.  “I know. ” he said. “Are you close to an answer?” she asked. “I am getting there. ” he said. “Ok. ” she said. 

She had a good time with his mom and sisters.  ” we miss seing you around. You will have to start coming around again. We will have to have you over for supper. ” anna said. “We will see.  ” she said. 

She suspected that it might be all over on saterday. She was ready to have an answer. Either way she thought. 

On Friday his dad went to see him. “So are you close to an answer?” his dad asked. “I am close. ” he answered.”i have given this a lot of thought.when dating a lady you have to take everything serious. You have to look at red flags. They have to be adressed. You have to keep in mind that any potential wife is a sinner saved by grace.  You want a wife that lives by faith. Right now is the time to adress concerns. Marriage is a union of two siners. In a christian marriage,  it is two siners saved by grace. You canot lose sight of God”s grace. Dont be so hung up on a potential spouse failures that you miss God’s working in there lives. I know that God is working in lexi’s life. There is evidence of her spiritual growth.  There is evidence that she is growing as well. Do you see anything that makes you would clasify her  as a deal breaker?” his dad asked. 

” no. Her views on speaking in tounges. I do not see a character flaw that disqalifies her as a spouse. I see charactersics that would be helpful to my future ministry. ” derrek said. “I do too. ” reverend bryan carlson said.

“Were it not for the word i would be ready to embrace this. I dont see that it can be his will. I just cant. ” derrek admited. ” the prophetic word is prolemetic i agree. I dont understand that aspect. It seams that the lord bas brought you two together.  Do you believe God can be glorified with your relationship with her? ” he asked. 

He thought it over. ” yes i do. ” derrek responded.  “Do you believe that you and lexi going your separate ways will glorify God? Can you serve the Lord as effective without her as you can with? ” he asked. 

“Dad, i noticed you are reluctant to advise me directly with a yea or nea but sence it is friday and i need to give her an answer tomorrow night what is your recomendation?” he asked.

The pastor chuckled. “What are you doing? Why did it take this long? Mary her. The lord has brought you two together.  Instead of focusing in on if, why not figure out why. Do you honestly see yourself with someone other then lexi?” he asked.  “No i dont! ” derek answered. 

 “Now imagine never ever seing lexi again this side of eternity. How would you feel about that?” he asked. Derrek was prety sure he had an answer.  

End of part 13.

Next up 

 Derrek and lexi meet up at her church. He gives her his answer. 


Only a matter of time part 9 

Previously on only a matter of time.

 While on a missons trip aiding a church plant , a young ministerial student met a young lady who was a penticoastal. Despite differences they seam to hit it off. They started hanging out with eacother. She even went to his birthday party. 

He asked her out on a date. She declined. She insisted that she does not date non penticoastal. 

Kevin realized that he alowed himself to get distracted. He decided to get serious. He got back to why he was hear. He kept the main thing the maine thing. He saw things happening.

Sence they arrived, they saw three new fanilies who had become regular attenders. There was a man who got saved and soon after his wife got saved. They were being disiplied and becoming more and more a part of the church. 

There was a man and his live in girlfriend who was saved. They convinced them that they should live apart until marriage.  They agreed. They both grew in there faith. They planed to get maried. 

A single man began to attend. He got saved not long into his attendence. He was becoming a major part of the church. He showed evidence of rapid sprituel growth. 

There was a man who had sat in the back.  He came in during the first hymn and left during the closing prayer. He kept coming.  It was learned later that he was chairman of an athiest society.  He got saved after a time and was growing in his faith. 

There was difficult times as well. They had curiosity seakers who left after a couple weeks. They had people who left for various reasons.they got plenty of slammed door and people on the streets who told them to politely and unpolitly to leave them alone. Even that was seen as a step in the right direction. They were seing fruits from the labor.   

Kevin was kept busy. He and his team were kept buisy. They got tired. Kevin planed it that way. He wanted he and his team to get a true taste of church planting and ministry. They also wanted to be a blesing to the pastor and the new church. They wanted to help further establish this fledging church. The trip had so far been sucesfull. 

Becky kept buisy with her church and with her job. At a small group,  she met Brent.  Brent had just moved to the area. Brent was very serious about the lord and the penticoastal movement. They had hit it off almost imidietly. 

“So do you want to go out for cofee. I would love to chat with you futher!” brent said. “I would like that. ” she said. “Tim hortons?” he sugested. “How about dunkin donuts? ” she asked. “Ok. Thats fine.” he said.

Tim hortons had been her and Kevin’s spot. She did not want to wreck that. She thought that if things hapened between her and brent she would probably have to go there with him. Not now. 

“So your very committed to penticoastal beliefs?” brent asked. ” i am. I am a firm belever in speaking in tounges. I do practice it. ” she said.”as do i. I am glad to see that penticoastal beliefs are becoming more and more part of mainstream christianity. It is becoming more acepted even if if it not practiced.  ” brent said.

“Yes i am glad to see that. ” she said. ” you are prety active hear. ” he said. “I am. For a new guy you have dived right in. ” she said. “I was very active in my last church. I hope to be active hear as well. ” he said. “You have been a good adition to the church so far. ” she said.” it seems you are a piller of this church. ” he said “i try to be a major contributor to this church and penticoastalsm as well. ” she said. 

“I can see that.  I think you and i are quite compatible. ” he remarked. “We do seam to be. ” she responded. “I like you. I like your insights.  ” he said. “I have found you to be quite insightfull as well. ” she said. “Thank you. ” he answered. 

She felt guilty for being hear. She felt like she was sining. She ignored it. It kept gnawing at her. She did not know why. It just would not go away.

“You ok ? You have been really qiet all of a sudden rebecca! ” brent said.  ” look Brent.  I think i should be going! “She said. He was confused. “Why?”he asked. 

“I should not be hear.  Your a great guy.  Your not right for me. Im really sory. ” she said. “We have so much in common. ” he said. “I know. I should not be hear. I was running. Im sory. I got to go. ” she said. 

She paid her bill then left. She ran to the car. She drove away. She drove to where kevin was staying. They had not seen eachother sence the night of his party. They talked on the phone but did not have much to talk about.  He was playing basketball. She decided to leave and call him later. He saw her and imidietly came over to her. He smiled in a way he only smiled when he was around her. “Hi there! “He said. “Can we talk?” he asked. ” of course.”he said. 

They went over to a swing. They sat down. “I dont know what to say. When you asked me out i panicked. I an afraid. We are so different.  I assumed you felt as i did could only be friends. Anything more would be too difficult.  Too complicated.  I went out with someone tonight. He was just like me. If i met him a year ago i would not have hesitated to go out with him. I felt convicted all night..all i could think of what when the people of isreal wanted a king instead of samual. God told him that they were rehecting God. I was not rejecting you i was rejecting him. So i am hear. Is that offer to date you still good? ” she asked.  

He smiled. “Of course it is. Is marying me a posibility?” he asked.  “Yes it is. I asume by your question you believe that is is on the table?'” she asked. “Absolutely.  I have liked you for a while now. I was afraid to tell you. ” he told him. ” im surprised you did not run for tbe hills. “She said. ” really like talking to you,spending time with you and getting your insights.  “He said.

“Im afaid. Why me?are you down on your recruitment? Do you want to turn me into a independent fundimental hyimm singing dress wearing cesationest baptist?”she asked. 

“Im not trying to turn you into me. Im not down on recruitment. I am not trying to change you. I. Want you to be part of my family. I want you to be my family.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” he said. 

“Do you intend that i adopt your beliefs? Do i have to become you?”she asked.  “I beleve that the husband is the head of the house. I also beleve in the baptist destinctive of the preiesthood of all belevers. Our relationship will be the hardest thing we have done. I want to work with you. I want us to work on this together.”he said. 

“So are we going to be an independent Baptist family? Do i need to change my belief to conform to yours? ” she asked.

“I have done alot of research.  I have done a lot of prayer and reading of the bible. I have come where i am not out of blind adherence to Baptist dogna but as a result of careful study and continplation. I am not arogent as to think i have all the answers or have arived. I dont want to bang you over the head and say this is how it is going to be. I am wiling for us to sit down and talk on this. We are in this together.  I am called to be a sprituel leader but we are partners. I want us to work together on this. ” he said.

“What about speakinh in tounges?” she asked. “I want to be an independent Baptist pastor. I want to start churches in the independent fundamental Baptist mode. I dont believe i can allow public speaking in tounges in a service. Private tounges ok. I know you believe that this is an acceptable and beneficial pratice. Likevi said i believe in the priesthood of all belevers. I dont think that i can prohobit it . ” he said.

“You would not hinder me from practicing tounges outside church?” she asked. “No i would not. I dont believe i can. I dont believe i should.  ” he said. 

“You do recog ize that i pratice tounges not to tick off baptist but because i believe it is a gift of the sprit.   She remarked. “I do realize that. I will keep that in mind. ” he assured her. 

“Do i have to only listen to hymns? “She asked. He smiled. “No . i love tbe old hyims. I dont understand why people would not love the hymns?  Having said that no. I am not trying to change you. I am not going to try to turn you into me.” she said. “So can i listen to k love in our home even in your presence?” she asked.  He laughed. “Yes to both.  I will adjust somehow.  ” he said. She laughed too.

“I will start using king james. I do like the king james. I usualy use n.l.t but i will start geting use to king james. ” she said. “I love the king james. I think it is a more accurate english translation. The king james assumes that the bible is the word of God. Other translators either omit verses clauses or paragraphs or they put it in brakets. It calls into questione the word of God. The yea hath God said. If john 8 for example is omitted ia God gloried by having it omiited? ” he said. 

“A lot of king jamers are meen. You sean happy about the king james?” she asked. “I am. I try to be a chearfull pronoter of the k.j.v. ” he said. 

“Thank you for listening to me. I appreciate you be wiling to talk to me about this. I appreciate you listen and alow me to express my views and concerns. You have eliviated a lot of my feears. ” she said. 

After a while she decided she should get back.  He walked her to her car.  “So it is time for me to call your dad and ask for permission to court you?” he asked. She smiled and said “yes!”. “Ok. I will call him tomorrow.  Should i be nervous? ” he asked.  “No! dad is great. I am not too woried. ” she said. “Ok!” he answered. 

“I know your not much for physical contact but can i have a hug?”she asked. He smiled. “Of course!  He said.he wrapped his arms around her.she folowed suit. They held on to eachother for a few seconds. 

“I wish it was not like this. I wish that i had not gone on a date with someone else today. ” she said. “Thats ok. I am so glad you came today. ” he said. ” i am glad i did too. ” she answered.  

She got in the car. She put on her seat belt. She blew him a kiss. He made sure no one could see him then he blew one back. She laughed and lipped the word goofballs.  They waved to eachother. He watched her leave. 

Things were starting to happen. When kevin started planing this misson trip, he never expected to meet his future wife. That was not even af after thought. It seems that he had. 

End of part 9. 

Next up

Kevin talkes to becky’s dad. 

Holding hands part 12

Derek went to classes in the morning.  He tried to focus on school work. He did not want to get sidetracked. After school he decided to go talk to pastor jeff at lexi’s church. He hoped to be able to talk to him. 

Weird he found it odd just how familar with the pentecostal church he was. He asked a janitor where the pastors office was. As he walked he saw pastor jeff the sr pastor. “Hi derrek. “The pastor said.

“Can i talk to you for a minute?”derek asked. “Of course this way”he said. They went to his office at the end of the hall. They entered the office. He closed the door.

“I had been meaning to sit down with you but i have bot got there yet. Pitfalls of pastoring a mega church.”jeff said. “I am an asitent pastor at a church of thirty regular attenders and find it hard to juggle a shedule. I totaly understand.”derrek said. 

“Im sure the pronouncement of the word was quite a shock to your syistom.”jeff remarked.  “It was. As a baptist i find the notion of a prophetic word to be problematic.  I cant beleve that the lord still cominicate in this mannor. “He said. 

“Well we dont plan these things. I simply got the feeling. I had to coninicate this. I knew nothing about you. I know lexi quite well.  I just felt that i had to delare this to the church. I knew nothing of your back ground. I had no ulterior motive in bringing it to you. It is not a scam. “He said.

“I cant bring myself to acept that it is from the lord. Lexi ow amazing. I have not found anyone quite like her. I wish we had met in a different mannor. “Derrek told him. 

” i find it inconceivable that people do not beleve in prophecy. For me i see no moral dilemma.  I understand where you are coming from. I respect your point of view.”jeff said. 

“It is just hard for me to accept that our relationship is form the lord. I cant deny how i feel about her. “He said. 

“Everyone has different views about Christian marieges. Some beleve that you can chose anyone provided they are saved. I believe that God creates a spouse for people. I cant prove it from scripture.  I cant beleve a decision not crucial to left to chance.do you believe its possible that she was created with you in mind and vice versa?” jeff asked. 

“From what i have seen it certently possible.  We do click even though we could not be futher away on several isues. ” derrek said. 

“Are yoy having doubts about the relationship? “Jeff asked. “I do. The doubts all concern the word. I see nothing about her character or intregrety that would cause me dificulty. “He said. 

“This is something only you can figure out. Whatever you decide you must be fully persuaded in your mind. I really beleve you two are ment for eachother. It is not just the word.  The fact you are hear. The fact that your grasping for staws. Hoping to justify it. You do want this. ” pastor jeff said. 

“I do want this. At first i was sceptical but now. If i make the wrong choice the consequences are enormous. ” he asked.  ” they always are. “Jeff added.”i have no idea what i will do”he said.

“I hope you will decide to continue your relationship with her. “He said.”i am seriously consider it. “Derrem said. 

“I assume if and lexi get maried,you two will go to your church? “He asked.”my dad is the pastor of gospel Baptist church. Dad has been mentoring me. I am doing an internship. I am a defecto assistant pastor. I feel called to being a pastor. Were we to get maried, gbc would be our home church. She is ok with that. I know it will be hard for her. She really likes this church.  ” derrek said. 

“Lexi is a vital part of our church. She will be missed. I want her to be where the lord wants her to be. I hope you two will not be strangers. I am glad you have been comming.  I hope you will try to understand her world. ” the pastor said. He considered her words. 

Lexi was driving home from her clases. She drove by the church. She was suprised to see derrek’s car at the church. She was curious. She considered stoping. Then her phone went off. 

She wondered if it was derrek. She saw that it was someone else.  She picked it up. “Hello joel! Whats up?” lexi asked. “Hi lexi i am in town. Alumni bussiness. I was wondering if we get together for lunch? ” joel said. “Yea ok. ” she said. 

Derrek left the church feeling good about things. He felt like he was closer to a decison. He was starting to think he could be with lexi and stil be sceptical of the word. He realized he liked pastor jeff personaly. He went to his car. 

Joel was considered a legend in the penticostal world. He was a senior when she was a freshman. He had already  been very involved in penticostal circles even before he went to college.  He had a blog and you tube chenel and was already a thought leader in the movement before he started his collegiate life. She found herself enamered with him.she had no idea he was there until she arived on campus.  She had folowed his blog and listened to his podcast. She was thriled to meet him. 

She wanted to date him. At one time it seemed to head in that direction. The aura serounding him dissipated. Joel was a showman. He seamed to struggle with pride. She eventually backed off . 

“”So how long will you be in town?”she asked. “A week. I am trying to start evengistic meetings in the reigion. “Joel said. “Is this a target area ?” she asked. “It is. It seems the perfect area for a revival.  I believe we can duplicate the revival in Toronto and Florida hear. I believe this could be the beggining of something. ” Joel said. 

“Is the school behind it?” she asked. “They have there doubts. I believe they will. I am trying to work on the alumli association.  I hope that if i can get there suport then the school will suport it. “Joel said. 

“Why this area?” she asked. “It just seams to make sense.  Sprit of fire is hear. There are several penticostal mega churches hear. It seems to be the best spot. ” joel said. “I see. “She said.

“Lexi i know we did not leave on the best of terms.  I regret that. I feel we could have been a great item. ” joel said. “Joel im seing someone. Its prety serious. ” she said. 

“I looked over your profile. Really a casationist. How can you even consider dating someone like that. I know you read over lord a look at the history of the casation movement.  People like him stifle the work of the holy spirit. ” joel said. 

Lexi wished that she had not accepted his offer to go to lunch with him. She just wanted to get out of there. How could she be so blind? 

“Like i said it is very serious. ” she said. “How serious?” he asked. She thought to herself. “Im going to mary this man. ” . “it is very serious. ” she said. ” i see. ” joel said. 

“So would you be interested in being involved in evengilistic crusades were they to occur?” he asked.  “I want to see how involved thr school is. We will see. I dont want to commit quite yet. ” she said. “I see. I hoped you would jump at it. I know you have jumped on to previous crusades. ” he said. “Perhaps i will junp on this one. I want to see how it shapes up. ” she said. “Ok. “He said. 

Derek left the church parking lot. He drove passed the restaurant. He saw her car. He saw her walking out with joel. Oh no he thought. Did i wait too long? Did i blow all this? He wondered. 

He drove home. He got a call on his on his phone. He looked at his phone.it was doctor l. Everit tompson.he picked up the phone. ” hello sir. ” he said. 

“Hi i am speaking in chepel tomorrow. I was hoping you would stop by . ”   he said. “Of course. I would be happy to. ” he said. 

He drove to the guest house on campus. He parked the car. He got out of the car. He knocked on the door. He was greated by doctor tompson. “Derrek its good to see you. ” tompson said. “Thank you sir. It is good to see you. ” derrek responded. 

He saw someone with him. “You remember my granddaughter hilda. ” he said. “Of course. Hello hilda. It is good to see you. ” derrek said. “Likewise. ” she said. 

They invited him to have diner with them at the presidents residence.  He agreed. After he got some time with hilda. There had some interest between the two. It had never emerged. 

“How have you been?” hilda asked. “Good. You?” Derek said. ” very good. ” he said. “Im glad to hear that. ” she said.

They talked for a while. His phone went off. It was lex. He felt it was rude to interupt his conversation with hilda. Hilda was like him. They were very similar.  He and lex realy never made sence to him. 

 “It is true your romantically involved with soneone?” she asked. “Yes i am with someone “Derrek said. “I knew i would loose you if i did not act. It was never the right time.  Did you ever consider an us?” she asked. “I did. I have not lately. ” he said.  “What about this seccond?”hilda asked.

 Lexi drove to her apartment.  She drove passed his campus.  He saw Derrek with a girl she did not recognize. She feared that she had pushed him away. She went home sad. 

She called a friend.  “Hi reese. Its lexi. “She said.”hi i have been meening to call you. Joel ganong may contact you. If it does walk away. I fear he may be the next tod bently. “Reese said. “He did contact me. I want to stay clear of him. “She said.

“Good.  I am glad to hear it. I hope Sprit of fire will follow suit. ” reese said. “I think they will. ” she said. “I am glad you saw though him. You have always showed evidence of good discernment.  “Reese said. “I had a bad feeling about this. At one time i probably would have blndly followed him. My spindy sence has improved.  I wanted to marry Joel once upon a time. ” she said. “I remember.  I was so jealous.  “Reese said. “I did not realize that.  ” she said. 

“Well i will let you go. I am glad i got to talk to you. ” reese said. “It is good to hear from you. ” she said. 

Was things heading in a bad direction. Could things get back on tract? 

End of part 12. 


Holding hands part 11

Derek’s life canged a short while ago. While attending a penticoastal church,a pastor announced that he was to mary a young lady named lexi. He tried to rebuff it but it did not work. 

Now she had given it time to think.  She gave him time to reflect. He felt like he was getting no where. He wanted to marry her. He knew that. He just could not get pass how they met. He could not ligitimize it in his mind.  He felt he had to pass on this relationship.  Could he realistically walk away? Could he forget about her? 

It was now wendsday. The day of his curch’s midweek service. He came into it emotionaly exhausted.  He had not spoken to her sence sunday night. 

She tried to keep in the word. She tried to stay in prayer. It was proving a dificult task. She considered not going to the midweek service. She wanted to be there. She knew she should. 

 She went into the sanctuary.  Several greated her. They were becoming used to her presence. She was becoming part of there church family. Everyone was happy to see her..usualy that would have made her happy. Not so much today.  She wanted to be a part of the church family.  She did not want to jump in now. Just in case it did not work out. 

He saw her. She came over to him. “Hi !”he said. “Hi ! How are you?”she asked. “Good. You?” he asked. “Doing good. School is keeping me buisy. “She said. “I gues it takes alot of practice to get slain in the sprit. “He said. “I knew you were going to make a penticoastal joke.” she said. “I could not help it. Well i could have but i did not want to. “He said. “Im sure. “She said. 

Neither one knew what to say.she wanted to ask if he was close to a decison. She promised him two weeks.she should give him that. Things seemed straned between them. They tried to make the best of it. 

During the prayer time the man and women split into groups.  She considered not joining anna’s group.  She decided that would be rude. She enjoyed spending time with the women who would one day be her mother in law or would she? She was not sure any more. She did not doubt the word but could someone who did not believe in it be bound by it. 

“Hi anna!”lexi said. “Hi sit down. It is good to see you. I have missed seing you.”Derrek’s mom said. ” i have missed seing you. “She said. 

After praying ,they talked for a bit. “You know about Derrek’s and i deciding to take a break so he can sort all of this out. “Lexi said.”yes he did. “She said.

Lexi did not want to say much. She had no idea how his perrents felt about all this. They had given there permisson for them to date. They seam to welcome into the family with open arms but what would happen if he wanted to perpose. She had no idea. 

After the prayer time everyone returned to thw sanctuary. The pastor dismissed everyone. He walked lexi to her car. Lexi really wanted to just go home. As they were walking, his dad went over to her. 

“I had really got to say hi. How are you soinf alexa!”bryan aske.”i am doing fine. I am glad i couls come tonight.  “She said.”i am glad you did too.”he said.

They said there goodbyes. They arived at her car. “Well have a good night.”he said. “You too derrek.”she said.  She got in her car. He watched her leave.

She started to feel like it might be all over between them. She really thought he would chose to be with her. It looked like he really might not. Should she perpare herself for the eventuality that there relationship might end. Was she unwise to jump right into his world. It made so much sense. It seemed perfectly plausible. .now she was not sure.

She still beleved he was perfect for him..she loved him far more now then before. She knew that as long as the prophetic word hung over his head he would have a hard time embracing it. Mayby he never could.

Derek went home after she left. “So are you close to a decison?”his mom asked. “No not yet”derrek said. “Do you think you might consider not being with her?”his farther asked. “I dont see how i can. I cant justify how i can realy on a prophethic word. If i cant justify that,i dont see how i can procede futher.”derrek admitted. 

“If the phrophetic word had not occured, would you be debating this?”his dad asked. He thought about it. “No i would not. If i just met you gradualy. I would not debate it. He fact our meeting was based on that word. “Derek said.

“Then have you made up your mind?” his mom asked. “That is not what i want to happen.  I dont see any other choice. I cant see any other answer. ” derek said. 

“Lets take the word out of the equation for a minute. Do you want to marry her?” his dad asked. “Yes i do” he answered without any hasitation. He had not fully realize that until that moment. 

“That was what i thought. I thought that you did. One belief that is held by some belevers that if you want to do something its out of bonds. Sometimes it is. God works sometimes within our desires. Sonetimes the lord will put in someheart heart to go to a misson field long before they are comisoned to go. It is assumed that if you hate hot climates that is where God will send you.  That is not nesierily true. Perhaps the lord is working in your heart . do you believe that she could be your future wife? Dont think about the word for a while. !” his dad said.

“Without considering the word yes. Absolutely.  I do think that she could be my wife. ” derrek said. “Dont be so quick to dismiss that. Your mom and i see things about her we like. So has the church. We really like her. We think that she could be your wife. She has those qualifications and qalities. That is important.  ” his dad told him.

“We dont want to presure you either way. This could be one of the bigest decision of your life. ” his mom said. “I realize that. ” he said. 

Derek went upstairs. He went back in his mind to the questione he had not really considered. He ignored the question.  Now it was staring him right in the face. He did want to admit it. He did want to mary her. 

He was surprised by that. He was not expecting that. He knew he liked her.  He respected her. There was more. He felt confronted by it. There was no one else. There would never be anyone else. 

A part of him realy wanted to call her.  Tell her he did not need more time. He was ready to fully embrace her. He almost picked up his phone and called her. He could not do it. He felt he needed the next week to make sure. He decided not to rush in. She told him that when he gave her his answer,it had to be definitive. He should wait . he would. 

She regreted coming to his church that night. She wondered if she would attend his church on sunday. She even considered ending the relationship.  

She sat down and wrote an email to him. One she never set. “Derek i stil believe that God wants us to be together. I do not doubts the verasity of the word. Perhaps the will of God can be recisted. Perhaps the perfect will can be diagarded and give way to the permisive will of God. While it is regrettable God gives grace. I dont feal that we can go any furher. Therefore i am ending our relationship.  I will free you from this. I wish you well. I will always love you.  I wish i would have turned out differently.  It is because i know you so well that i know you wont acept this. I will miss you. Love always lexi. Ps i want to move on. I want us to be done.  Good day. ” she wanted it to be clear that they were over. She stared at the screen. She almost hit send. She could not do it. 

Then her laptop swiched to the screen saver. It was of her and derrek. He had his arm around her. She remembered when that picture was taken.  She stared at it. She pictured her life with him. Somehow he would come around. She felt in her sprit that she could not walk away. She would not. She put the email in her draft folder. She turned off her laptop. 

Derrek was realy confused. On the night she told him to take some time to consider this,  he really considered teling her it was over.  He decided to take that time. He looked froward to time apart from her. He was miserable.  He knew it,he was sure that lex knew it. He thought that his parents and family knew it. He hated this.  He hated being apart from her. He liked seing her at church. They were not in good felowship. He hated that. 

He stared at his phone. He looked at the contact list. He saw it say lex. He alnost presed it. He decided it was nit yet time.  

His devotions looked at biblical marriages.  He looked at jacob,racheme and leah. He looked at Joseph’s wife.  She was fasinating. She was an Egyptian. Hia mariege was brought about by mishaps. He found it fasinating.  The bext day he studied moses wife ziporah and his secvond wife. 

He was stil confused and time was slowly running out. He knew he had a week to go. He also knew that things he could not control were moving. In truth he might not have a week. 

End of part 11



When plans change part two 

Becca Lynn morgen was second oldest child of five kids. Both sets of parents were from a very conservative independent fundimental Baptist family. Growing up she only read from the king james bible. She only listened to old hymms and sacred Christian music. She never watched telivison or movies. Her reeding materials were carefully screaned. She only wore dresses or skirts never pants excepts for underneath a a skirt during outside activities or chores. 

She seemed the ideal canidate to be a independent baptist wife. Manny young men within the movement wanted to Mary her. Her heart seemed to always belong to one man.it had as long as she had known him. 

Becca adnired jim almost at the moment she met him. They were both young when they met. Everyone in the church assumed that they would date and one day get marry. There parents were close friends so it made sense that would get together.  

Even as children they were close friends. No one was surprised when they chose to date. They weathered every storm even being seperated when he went to college and she was stil in high school. 

 When his cousign bryan invited him to his wedding,of course he was going to go. He and bryan were close. He explaned the situation to becca.becca knew bryan and his fiancée well.  She did not hessitate to agree to go. 

Neither one of them thought that it was a big deal. Both families knew that they were going.  Members of his farthers church including his parents attended the wedding. They were shocked when they were taken to the office of the deen and questoned about the weading. Jim took the blame.  

Both tried to horner the school despite there disagreements over this. Becca did not think that this was a serious issue. She had her parents permission to attend the wedding.  She did not understand the controversy.  She did not believe that jim should have been censured over this.  

That event was a wattershed for him. It was a beginning  for him. It led to a rethink for him. She did not see it as a big issue at first. She and him discused it at length.  He saw this as a threat to there relationship. She saw it as a time of growth. 

 As he decided to explore churches beyond the realm of i.f.b ,she vowed to go with him. She was schocked when he sugested that mayby they should post pone or even canceil the engagement.  She did not want that. He was her family.  She would fight for it. 

 He wanted to visit the church himself at first. She would not have it. She wanted to go with him. She insisted he take her with him. 

She woke up sunday morning.  She took a shower. She got ready for church. She wore a red top and black skirt. She tried not to look too dresed up but she did not want to look out of place either. She felt like a fish out of water. She figured she would ajust. She braded her hair. 

She drove to his house. She parked the car. He greated her. He wore a buttoned down collared shirt and brown pants. He always wore a suit and tie. Now he was trying to go native.  

He felt out of place. That was ok.  He knew that it would subside. He had considered giving up. He considered trying to mend fences with his old home church and the i.f.b. he decided to stic with it.  

He looked troubled.  She could tell that he was having doubts about all this. She smiled at him. “This is realy a nuty idea is it bec?”he asked.  “No its not. It will be fine. ” she assured him. “I hope so.” he said. 

They went in his car, he drove.  They arived at the church.  The church was techically a baptist church but it droped the name Baptist from its title. It was still incorporated as faith bible Baptist church but on the air it was called faith bible church. 

The car parked. Jim nervously got out of the car. She was not quite as skidish as he was.  Jim had come up with his idea but was reluctent to follow though with it. They both left the car and walked to the church.

They were greated by an usher that gave them the buliton. They saw bryan and jess.  “You actualy came?” Bryan said.  “I have not started melting yet. ” jim said. “It took an hour in for the last fundy who visited hear to melt.  ” bryan said. 

“We are really glad that you you came! ” jess said “thank you. We are glad to be hear. ” becca said. They folowed Bryan and his wife into the main sanctuary. They sat down next to his cousign and his wife.

Jim could not get over his nerves. He was suprised that becca was not nervous. She seemed perfectly calm. He found that odd sence he felt like as conservative as he was, she was well to the right of him.    Yet she was fine with all this.  Even before the service began even in the parking lot,he considered leaving and abandoning all of this and going back to gbc. He did not. He decided to stic with it. Then the service began.  

The church had started around the same time as gospel baptist had. It was started by a independent Baptist pastor.  It soon became more and more evengelical. It became more contenpary. Eventually it droped the baptist from its name.  It became a cominity church. 

The pastor gave opening renarks. Then the worship team took over. They sand contemporary prase and worship songs many that could be heard on klove and other ccm stations. People in the audience were singing along dancing and lifting thrre hands. It looked more like a penticoastal church then a baptist one. Jim was a bit uncomfortable.  Becca was singing along. She did not apear to have the moral qums he did.

It seemed like the music went on foever. He was hoping it would end soon. Becca was enjoying it. She tried to be a little more reserve then she otherwise might be. 

He liked the preaching.  He was suprised that it was biblicaly based. He figured that he could be spritualy fed hear. He still was not sure. He would rather go hear then any other evengelical church he suposed. Mayby he should go back to his old church. 

After the service he introduced them to his pastor. “Pastor do you remember my cousign jim and his fiancée becka.”bryan asked. “I do. It is good to see you. Bryan said your considering coming hear full time?”pastor jeff asked. “We are definently considering it.”jim said.

“Well i hope you will come hear. This is a good church i think.  We are interested in serving the lord and impacting the greater community.  There are plenty of opportunities to serve. I went to fubdimental biblical uniservity. I went to school with pastor clark greig.”he said.

“Are you two stil on speaking terms?”jim asked. “We are. I still attend the spring conferences albiet in disguise. Clark and i are still good friends. I avoid manny of the staf including dr. Wyit.”jeff said. “Doctor wyit is the reason i have left the movement.  “Jim said. 

“Bryan mentoned his wedding caused some controversy. We dont have a lot of doctrinal differences with f.b.u mostly stylistic ones. I am sorry that yoir attendence caused difuclties. “Jeff said. “It was a shock. ” bryan said.

“I can imagine.  We do not want to step on anyone’s toes.  We try to stand on the word of God. If the lord had not said we try not to make it a law. I hope to talk to you futher on this. Plese consider making this your church home” jeff said. 

Becca was sold but jim was not so sure. He was not sure that he could settle down hear. They talked to a few people then went to the car. 

“I really liked it. I felt very welcome. I would like to get to know jess more. “Becca said. “I liked it. Yea i am wiling to give it a shot. “Jim said. “You sont seam totaly convinced. ” she said. “I just dont know. It is probably the best evengelical church in the area. I just dont know. I am willing to give it a chance. I think we can make it work.”jim said. “I think this will be a good fit for us. “She said. He had his doubts. He would give it a chance. 

To be continued. 

Next up at evening service becca is invited to a ladies group.  Jim strugles with his doubts. 

Wake up call part three 

I was tired. I fell asleep on the couch. I could sleep anywhere and had. I did not mind sleeping on the couch. I fell asleep.  It was a warm night so i did not need a blanket.  I slept soundly. 

I woke up in the middle of the night. Becky came over to me. She wore a bathrobe over her night gowan. “Babe! Come on. Come to bed! “She pleaded with her. “I ‘d really rather stay out hear right now.  ” i said.

“Why? Why are you shutting me out?” she asked. “I just need time to sort all this out rebecca. I don’t know you. I dont know who you are. I can’t just jump into this. ” i told her.

“Im sory you lost your memory. Your stil my husband.  I need you.  I need you to be in this!” she said. “I need time!”i said in response.  “Craig! You cant do this to me! I have needs too. I have tried to be caring. I know this is hard. Your not the only one affected by this. ” she said. 

“I dont know what to think. In my mind i went to bed a belchor . i wake up two years later . im maried to a girl i never met. Your a complete stranger. I dont know what to think or feel!” i said. 

“What about mr craig? I am the weaker vessel hear. I realize in your mind you woke up and discovered you have a wife. You cant just walk out on me. You have obligations. You need to grow up. ” she said.

“It is hard for me to process all of this. I have no idea how to handle all of this. My system is totally overloaded.  My life is totaly different now. I dont know if im coming ot going. ” i said 

“Im sory to inconvenience you. I did not think that it was asking too much for my husband to act like my husband!  A lack of no memory is not an excuse.  I am sory it happened.  Your being so absorbed and i dont like it. I am sick to death woried about you. I am woried this will get worse.  I am woried that more is wrong. Now i have to deal with you being all loopy.  The worst part is that i know that you dont trust me. Your suspicious of me. I worked do hard to earn your trust. I thought i had. “She said. 

“I know this is hard on you. I went to bed single.  No wife not even a hint of a romantic interest.  I wake up maried to a complete stranger.  You have to see this from my perspective.”i said.

“Really!  You got to be kiding! I see it from your side. I get it! You have obligations!  You and i had insurmountable hurdles we had to climb. I need security. I need stability.  It is your job to provide that. ” she said. 

“I know that. ” i said. “I need my husband. I want the craig Wallace i know back. He would never do this. Please come to bed with me?”she pleaded. 

“I need time! ” i told her. “You had it. You weighed the options. You went ahead and perposed to me.  Come talk to me when you decide to become an adult again.  ” she said.she went to the bedroom and shut the door.

The truth is i did not trust her. How could i trust a complete stranger? I never met her before. I wondered if i would have felt the same way if she had been independent fundamental baptist? Would i be a sceptical? 

I was rilled up but i finaly fell asleep. I woke up the next norning. I was out if it at first.  I began to remember what had happened the night before.i was still on the couch. I stil saw the evidence of Becky.  I was stil in the same predicament i had been the night before.  Nothing had changed. 

A part of me hoped to wake up where i left off. Back two years ago. That did not happen.  I was still hear. This was not a bizare dream. 

If i did find myself back in time back two years ago what would i do?  Would i forget about this enigmstic becky? Could i? 

I had no idea what time is was.  I saw the clock and saw that it was a little after seven. I decided to get up. I eas going to put the cofee on but it was already on. 

She walked in. “Do you want anything fot breakfast?  “She asked.  “No im fine. I am not realy hungery. ” i said.”ok. Cofee is made!” she said.”i see that. ” i said. I poured the cofee into a cup. She went into another room. 

I sat down at the table and siped the cofee.  I was not sure what to do. We were on our honeymoon.  Neither one of us felt that way. This was no longer my house well not totaly. It had been beckafied. I needed time to think. 

I got dressed and decided to go for a walk. I heard the sounds of birds chirping. The property outside had not realy changed. Birds chirping reminded me of my childhood.  I found it nostalgic.  I would not clasify me a nature person but i like nature. 

It was a beutifull day. I walked around the land. I tried to colect my thoughts. I wanted to make sense of all of this.  The lane brought back memories. After colege i wanted to start a church. For years fundamental baptist wanted to start a church hear in hagervile. There was only one church in hagervile before. It was a nac3 congregational church that only had seven people who attended. 

There was a burden to start a church there, no one steped up to start it. I was originaly sent as a kind of misionart pastor from the church i grew up in. A kind of timouthy. The church took off sooner then i expected. Before i knew that a core group had emerged.  

The church once edtablished was released from the group of churches that started it. I was voted in as pastor. The church was in its own building before it was let on its own. I brought my house after becoming pastor. I decided to start puting down roots hear. I tried to forget about all that that had gone on. 

I kept on walking. I wished i could drive. I would love to go for a drive. I had to walk instead per doctor orders. 

I walked off my property.  I liked this neighborhood. I remembered when i first moved hear, i imagined taking my significant orther on long walks. I had no idea if Becky and i took long walks though hear. I am gusing we had.i was surprised that i was thinking about her. 

I kept walking. I was not ready to head back. It was not quite home anymore. My mind went in a thousand different directions.  Eventualy it came to her. 

How could i have falling in love with her? A former Methodist minister? The evidence indicates that i did. That was so hard to believe.  It seemed implausible.  Yet that was what happened.  She had embraced independent fundamental Baptist.  I suspect she caried bagage from her old life. She stil listened to k love and even secular music at times.

I always imagined that my wife would have similer experiences . i expected that she would grow in the i.f.b as i had. I figured she would go to an i.f.b colege.  That was not becky. Why did i let myself fall in love with her? What i was thinking? It made no sense.

As i thought it hit me like a ton of bricks. I did comit to her. I would not have made a decison like that lightly. I must have agonized over it. Probably spent time hear. She we broke up ten times . i prayed for a bit. I knew i had to get back to my bride and now.

I ran home. I suspected that becky might be very mad at me. I had no idea how to deflate the situation. I rushed home as fast as i could.  I rushed home as fast as i could.  I felt bad about how things had occurred.  I really messed up. 

I had felt so overwhelmed.  I felt overwhelmed.  I needed to stop. I needed to process things. Now i had. I had kind of woke up from a stupor. I could be ok. Had i sabotaged things with Becky? If i had, was it irreparable?

I ran back to the property. I had no idea how she would react. I did not know how to corect it. I had to try. The trip home seemed like an eternity.  I finaly made it home. I saw my house in thr distence. I ran inside. 

I had no idea how she would react.  Would she be mad at me? How can i resolve this? I sinply had no idea. I went inside. Becky wore a gray shirt and jeens. She was barefoot.  Aperently she wore pants if she was mad at me. 

“Where did you go?” she asked. ” i went to down the road and back. ” i said. “You probably dont remember but we have a rule that we always let the orther person know where we are. ” she said.

“Your right. I should have told you. Im sory. “I told her. “I have labled myself a feminist. I like everyone to think that i am brave and strong.  The truth is i am not that strong.  When i am with you i don’t want to be strong. I am ok being the weaker one. Your memory loss does not alow you to renig on your responsibilities. I have committed myself to you. You have to be the strong one. I need you to be the leader. I need you to be in this. I need you!  She told me. 

“I am sorry. I am sory i made this harder on you. I was so confused. I feel so lost.” i adnited. “Let me help you. Lets face this together.  Trust me!  She pleaded.

“I dont remember making the vows to you. I pledge to love hornor and cherish you as long as we both shall live. I pledge to be the best husband i can.” i said.

“You may now kiss the bride!” she said. She leened over and kissed him. He hugged her. She held on to him. She held on to her. “You are stil hear.it is still you.  ” she said.we held on to eachorther.

I decided that at that moment that i would be committed to this marriage.  Memory or no memory i was maried to her. That would no change. I was ready to charge in at full strength.  

To be continued.  

Only a matter of time part 8

Kevin was part of a summer missons trip. His team was assisting a new church plant.  While in the town he met a penticoastal lady naimed becky. He felt drawn to her.

On a Sunday night she called him. “Hey beck!” he said. “How was church? ” she asked. “Excelent. The preaching was really good. We had some new people.  How was your church?” he asked. 

“Really good. I am glad things are going good at your church.  “She said. “I am too. ” he said. 

That week he was busy with various activities in the church. He did some visatation folowering up with visitors in the church. They made some new contacts as well. He was also busy with mid week service. They did sone yard work and other work. 

Becky tried to get back into the word. She had seen her relationship with the lord slip.  She now wanted to hold on to the lord with all she had. She realized that He had never stoped holding on to her. She started to journal again.  She tried to hold on to this. She wanted to capture it. 

Kevin and becky continued to talk on the phone. She found him to be an encouragement.  She was surprised by that. He was a cessationest. Yet when she spoke to him he challenged her to keep on with the lord. He challenged her to go deeper. She was thankful to the lord for him.  

They did not see a lot of each other but got together on tusdays for cofee. A friendship really started to develop.  One that was growing.  The signs were that it would continue to grow. 

At the same time his sister sarah seemed to be developing a friendship with fellow penrucostal eric. Kevin was a bit unsure about it.  “You know i think eric and sarah really like other.” she saud during a tuesday cofee meet. “I am not sure about that. It because i dont want sarah to grow up. It is not because he is penticoastal.  “He said. Becky chucked.  “I know that. ” she said. 

 One day sarah went to see becky. “Becky on saterday kev and i are going to see our parrents home for his birthday. Do you want to come?” she asked.

“Oh i Dont know. I dont want to imtrude on family time. It has been a couple of months sense you seen them. I dont want to get in the way of that. ” becky said. 

“I talk to my parents. They would love for you to come. Please. I would love for you to be there.  I know kevin would too. ” becky told her.

“Are you sure they dont mind?” she asked. “No its fine. Are you coning?” sarah asked. She was really nervous about it. “Oh ok. I will come. ” becky answered. Sarah smiled. “Excellent.  ” she said. 

That saterday becky drove to where kevin and sarah were staying. Becky decide to ware a skirt not pants. She arrived promptly.  

“Happy birhday. “She said.she handed him a present. ” thank you. “He said.”you want to open this hear not at your parents!”she incisted. He laughed. He opened the present. It was a book. “God’s on fire. The penticoastal revolution.  ” he said. 

“It is a realy good book on the history of the penticoastal movement. ” she said.  “Let me gues. It is from a penticoastal perspective?  “He remarked.  “You got it?”he said. He laughed.he looked at the cover. “To Kevin,i am so glad to have met you. The lord is at work in your life. I just wish you would fully embrace the holy sprit but mayby this book will inspire you.  Happy birthday. Love becky.”  

Kevin and Becky talked almost the whole way there. They were playfull. Sarah barely got a word in edgewise. She was fine with that. She thought that they were really cute. They engaged in a lot of  bentor. 

The car arived in drake. “This is my home town.  “He said to her. “You grew up hear?”becky asked. “Sence i was seven years old.  Say was four years old. ” he said. “How many are in your family? ” becky asked. “There are seven. I am the oldest. The youngest is two mounths. ” kevin said. 

 He pointed out some scenes. A famous bridge. There church.there first church. The uniterian church.he pointed out the penticoastal church.he pointed out some houses and some other sites. Then they arived at his house. The car parked. They all got out. 

Becky was a bit nervous. She tried to stay calm. They walked inside. She folowed kevin and sarah to the door.the door opened. There mom and dad came out with there baby dsughter. There younger siblings came out with them.  they were eiger to see there brother and sister. 

They huged there family. They were so happy to see them. They were so happy to see them. “You must be becky!” his mom asked. “I am. It is good to meet you. ” becky said. “Kevin and Sarah have spoken highly of you. We are pleased to Finaly meet you. ”  mom said. 

They went inside. Becky realy liked his family.  They were all very nice. They were funy. They made her feel very welcome.  

After he opened presents, they eat cake and ice cream. “Can you join me out on the steps?” he asked. “Sure!” she said. They went outside. ” beck i am so glad you came tonight! ” kevin remarked. “I am glad i came too. ” she said. 

“Look i wanted to ask you something.” he said. “What is it?” she asked. “Well i was wondering if you would consent to i Dont know dating courting what ever you want to call it.” he said. 

She stood up. “Oh! Kevin i cant date you!”she said. “Why not?” he asked. “Your not penticoastal.  “She said. “You wont date a non penticoastal?” he asked. “I would rather date a penticoastal.  Look your a great guy. I cant. Im sory. ” she said 

“Im sory. I wont bring it up again.” he said. ” im sory.  I know this was not what you wanted to hear. Your a  dear friend kev. ” she said.  “I know that. ” he said.  “Your upset?” she asked. “Im fine!” he said.

She admited later that she was staetled. She had not expected it. She later told him she wished she had taken a step back.  She wished she had thought it over. She regreted spoiling his birthday.  She was just was not ready yet. When they did get together they laughed about this day. 

That day he had no idea what to do. He realy thought that the door was totaly closed never to be opened. 

They went back inside. The rest of the night went fairly well. They tried to hide the fact that anything went ary. 

On the way home they were qiet. Gone was the bantering that had gone on on the ride to. Sarah had to do all the talking.  She tried to engage them but nothing hapened. It was a long trip back.  

They brought her to where they wete staying. Sarah said her good night. “I am realy sory i ruined your birthday pary. It was not my intention. ” she said. “I know that.  Its ok. I am glad you got to meet my family. ” he said.  “Well have a good night.”she said.”you too.” he said

She drove off. He watched her go.”you ok?” sarah asked. ” i asked her if she wanted to date me. She said no. Doctrinal differences.  ” he said. “You knew that it would be an issue.  “Sarah said. “Yea i did. Becky is so special to me. I thought we could work on it. ” he said. 

He went upstairs. He went to his room.he prayed a bit. He tried to make sense of all this. 

Becky was unsetled. She had no peace.she did not know what to do.she tried to focus. 

End of part 8.