Holding hands part 17 

Neither derek nor lexi knew one day would change there lives foever. That saterday did change both of there lives. Neither lexi nor derek knew it was comming. 

Darek had a hard time accepting it. It did not make sense to him. He rebuffed it for a long time. After a while he finaly did come to embrace the idea of those two. 

Lexi was not expecting that saterday to be any different then the usual Saturday.  That day had been prety mundane.  She did not expect any thing too earth shattering.  Of course,she was wrong.  

She embraced the whole thing from the very beginning.  She had little doubts. She decided that he was the one she was supposed to marry. Then she worked on figering out why.  It had become prety clear. 

Darek discovers that she was kind and sweet. She had a qiet and gentle sprit. She was very bubbly and out going. She was reserve as well. She usualy was very talkitive. She did not wear her emotions on her sleve. She kept some things to herself. One might not always know that.  

Darek did not at first. He started to pick up on that. She kept some things to herself. He was surprised by that. She was so bubly. She apeared to be so happy. She had a private pain. A secret sadness. Something she did not talk about. He realize that it was there. 

Her mom had died a few years ago. Her father had remarried.  While she loved her step mom, she had not quite come to terms with her real mom’s death. She had no way to deal with it. Her farther had seemed to totally moved on. Even her siblings apeared to be over it. She had not. She did not understand how they did it. They could not understand why she could not. 

Her moms bithday neared. It got harder and harder for her to deal with it. In recent years it became easier for her to deal with it. This year was harder. She had no idea why. 

One night they had a picnic in a park. “Lets go down the slide!”she sugested.”you do know your im college.  Your a young adult.”he said.”i can still have fun. ” she said. He chuckled. “Ok!” he said. “Join me!” she sugested. “Oh i dont know!” he said.

“Why do i get the feeling you were born forty?” she asked. “I Washington their seccond most respinsible one. Next to rob. He taught me everything he knew! ” she said. “You should have folowed tom’s example.” she said.he laughed. 

She went up on the swing. “I cant beleve im doing this. ” he said. He folowered her. “Deep down! Your are fun loving!” she said. “I am thinking deep down. “He said. He folowed her down the slide. 

“You have to admit that was fun! ” she said. “Mayby a little bit!” he answered. She laughed. “Well that is a start i supose!” she remarked.they went down a few more times. 

She smiled. “What?” he asked. “You are hilarious.  I really dont think your as serious as you make people think.  ” she said. “I am prety serious!” he said. 

After a while she walked hand in hand with him to his car.they got in and drove off. He drove her home. She suddenly gott really sad. She was qiet on the ride home. 

He hugged her. She seemed a bit off. Distracted. “Good night!” she said.”i love you lex!” he said. She said “i love you!” she said.  She usualy lingered but bot today. The goodbye was usually prolonged. There was nore higging and she usualy kissed him on the forehead. Not today. He found that quite odd. He watched her go inside. When she was inside, he drove home. 

He felt odd. He was woried about her. He was not sure what was going on. He drove home. He parked. He went inside. 

The next day he picked her upat home so they could go to school together.  She was distant.  She was qiet.  He went to eat dinner with her on campus. She was just as aloof..they said little to eachother. After clases he wanted to hang out with her but she said she wanted to go to her house. 

“I need some alone time ok” shr said. “You ok lex?” he asked. “Yea i just want to have some me time. If your thiking what i think your thiking. I promise its not that. I just need to short this out.” lexi said. “Ok.i am hear for you if you need me!” he said.she thanked him. 

On wendsday, they did not realy hear from eqchother but they rarely did on wendsday.  She called Derek and told him that she was not comming to the midweek serrvice. He told her that she would be missed. 

After church, he checked his computor. He looked at lexi’s facebook page.  She wrote that she was really sad. He looked over the comments.  He soon discovered that this would have been her mom’s 50th birthday. 

He clicked on the response emoticons.  He clicked on the sad face. He wotte in the comments section. ” hey lex, realy sory your having a hard time. I love you. ” 

Later on his mom wrote on her post as did two of her sisters.  He wondered why she was not turning to him. He had no clue as to why she seemed to be running away. 

The next morning he got out of bed. He got ready for school. He took a shower then got dressed. He checked his phone for messages.  He got a text from lexi. 

“Hey babe! Im caling out of school. Taking a mental health day. I will catch up with you later. ” she said. He texted her back with an ok. 

He had no idea how to help her. He wanted to help her though this. He did not know how. She seemed to be pushing her away. She pushed him away. He wanted her to be running to her embrace. 

He got coffee and went to breakfast. “You ok derrek?” his mom asked. “Yea i am fine! Lex is taking the day off from clases. I tried to call you but she did not answer. I have figured out how to relate to her. These last couple of days i just cant. ” he admitted. 

“Just let her know you care about her. Let her know your available. “His mom sugested. 

Before he went to school,he called her. “Hi you have reached lexi, i am not able to take your call right now. Please leave number and mesege and i will get back to you. ” she said.

“Hi hunie its me. I just want you to know i am hear for you. Call me when you can. ” he said. 

He went to school that day with a heavy heart. He knew she probably just needed her space.  It was still hard. He decided to let her have that space. He hated seing her like this.he missed her.  He wanted to help her. He felt powerless. He hated that. 

She heared his mesege as it was comming in. She just could not bring herself to answer it. She just sat on the couch.  She stared into outer space. 

After a few minutes she felt a little better.  She sat there crying. She reganed her composure. She needed someone to talk to. She knew that he was in clases. She did not want to brother him. She did want to talk to someone. She decided to call anna,his mother.

“Hi lexi. ” anna said. “Hi can i come over? I need someone to talk to. ” she said. “Of course hunnie. Come on over.  ” anna told her.

After a short time, the car puled in to the drive way.  She walked inside. Anna gave her a great big hug. “Would you like some cofee?” Anna asked. “I would thank you!” she said.

Anna pored the coffee into a cup. She handed it to lexi. She thanked her. They sat down. “Look i want you to know that i am hear for you. If you ever need to talk,  come over. You are going to be my daughter in law ” she said.

She smilled. “Thank you. “Lexi said. “I understand that today would have been your mom’s birthday today?” Anna asked. “Yes . its weird the last few years have been a lot easier. Not this year. I have just felt sad. Blah. ” she said.

“You two were close?”anna asked. “We were.  I was her oldest daughter. We have always been close. ” she said. 

“I am close with my mom. I am the oldest daughter. I was sux when my sister was born. We grew prety close. I was my mom’s little helper before and after my sister was born and a year later my brother came along. “Anna said 

“I was four when they had my brother. I was my moms helper. My mom and i talked about everything.  ” she said. “Its is the same between me and my mom. I remember when i told her about bryan. I mentioned him in passing. I met him as part of a study group at college.  I made a pasing refrence to him. Mom asked me,”whose bryan?” i saud just a pastoral student in my study group. She smiled and said ok. She later told me she knew the first time i mentioned him.” she said.

“Its been five years sense she died. Why is it so hard this year? ” lexi asked. “Well, your a jr in college.  Your getting closer to graduating. You have met who your prety sure is going to be your husbend. Your future us shaping up. Your weding is nearing. You probably thought that your mom would be a part of that. I know i did. Every girl dreams about her wedding. Im sure your mom figured prominently into that. Those dreamsbare vivid. Its natural. My mom was the first person i tolf when bryan asked me to be his girlfriend.  ” she said.

“The whole family has moved on.  My brothers and sisters bearly seam to notice.  My youngest sister who is 7 calls my step mom mom. My dad has a child with my step mom with another on the way. ” she said. 

“That makes it hard. Not everyone deal with things the same way. Its ok to have to stop and reflect. ” she said 

“A few days ago, derrek and i were having fun at the park. I just starting feeling blah. I have kinda shut down.  I think dere was woried i was losing interest in him. I just did not want to do anything. “She told anna.

“He understands. He realy cares about you. ” anna said. ” i know he does.  He is a really sweet guy. I did not meen to ignore them. I do not know how to deal with all this. I cant beleve everyone else has moved on. ” she said. 

“Everyone mourns in there own way. They may not be as ok as they seam. Derek is hear for you.i know you could no better person on your side.” she said. “I know that.” she answered.

“He is very reserve. He really likes you. I can tell.”anna said. “I know that.” she said. “It was not always easy confiding in someone.  It was hard for me to trust bryan at first. Not because he was not trustworthy,  i felt insecure.  I soon learned i could.in the course of mt maried lifei have told him things i would never tell anyone else. He always was. Understanding. I knew derrek is the same way.    “Anna said. 

“Right now i just feel blah. I know mom is with the lord. She is dar happier in his presence. ” she said.”this will pass. Just let it. Wait. Dont force it to pass. It will in time. ” she told her. 

Derrek headed hime form class. He was sad. He tried to call lexi but it went to viice mail. He drove by her place but she was gone. He drove home.

He saw her car in the driveway. He went inside. “Hi mom! Is lex hear?” he asked. “She is the living room. Gracie fell alseep on her. Go qieltly. I invited her to supper. ” she said.

He went to the living room. He sat down next to her. He put his arm around her. “You do know your going to be hear for the next six hours.  My siblings and i refer to this as the Gracie trap! ” he said. 

“I have heard. You know she will still be young when our kids are born. She and your brother tim will probibly be playmates with our kids. ” she told him. He smiled.

“I cant wait to be a dad. ” he told her. “You will be a good one. I want a big family. Mayby not duggrt sizr but a good size. ” she said. “Who?” he said. “Never mind! ” she answered.

“I would like a big family. If mom and dad gave more we might have kids who are older then there aunt and uncles. I was older then some of my uncles and aunt. ” he said. “Me too. ” she said. 

“Gracie seams to like you. I know you will be a great mommy. ” he said.”i like her. Thanks.  I am sorry i have been the way i have the last few days. ” she said. 

“You needed time to work all this out. I understand. ” he told her. ” your mom has been great today. ” she said. “She is the best. Lex you dont have to face this things alone. ” he said. “I wont. Thank you” she said.

After dinner they hung out side. She held on to her. After a while she went home. “Thank you for everything der. I love you.” she said. “I love you lexi.” he said.

End of part 17

Next up

Derrek  and lexi go to a novrmber banquit at his school. 


Holding hands part 16

Derrek and lexi seemed like the most unusual of couples.  Derrek never expected this to happen. One single moment changed everything. 

Derek woke up the next day.  He was very happy. He showered.  He had breakfast.  He read his devotions. He saw a note. He smilled and took it out

“Good morning dere! i snunk this into your bible last night when you were not looking. i feel like you and i are starting a new chapter in our relationship. I realy care about you a great deal. I beleve that God created me for you. I beleve you were created for me. I am excited to explore that. I am excited to see how it all comes together.  Have a great day and great devotions. I will see you soon. love lex” 

He had a productive time in the word.he had a really meeningfull pray time. Then he got ready to go downstairs. 

He saw her car pull up. He went outside to meet her. She got out. “Good morning love!” he said. She smiled. “Morning!” she said he hugged her. 

“Good morning lexi. ” anna his mom said.  She said good morning. She worked the room.  She held the baby. They had become attached to her. She had become attached to them. 

After a while they left. They went into his car. “So how do you always manage to sneak notes into my bible?” he asked.  “Oh no that is a closely gaurded secret. ” she said. “Oh realy? I had no idea. ” he said.  

He started the car. He drove off. “I figured i would drop by for lunch?” he said. “Sounds good.  Its meet loaf day!” she said. “Sounds good. ” he said.  

He drove to the parking lot. “I dont think i have been surrounded by so many penticostals before. ” he said. “There are more of us then you know!” she said. He laughed. “Oh no!” he said. 

He hugged her. She kissed him on his forehead.  “I will see you at lunch. ” she said. “You got it. ” he said. He made sure she got inside. Then he drove off.

” so lexi! Was that your cessationest boyfriend? ” a friend asked. “Yes it was. ” she answered. She thought to herself her future husbend. She went to clases. 

He drove to his campus. He parked and got out of the car. He went to his clasroom. 

He really liked his clases. He learned a lot. He knew the importance of traning for ministry. He knew the importance of learning.he took his academics seriously. He knew that he had to keep his focus his focus. Keep the main thing the main thing. 

Now morning clases was over. He was ready to go see lexi. He was ready to go see lexi. He went to his car. He got a few jokes from his friends.  ” hey! Leaving pronised land for Egypt? ” one said. Another friend commented that he should be carefull not to get the penticostal bug.  He assured them that he would. 

He headed to the car. He was excited to see her. It had not been that long sense he saw her. He stil found that he missed her. He had so much he wanted to tell her. He suspected she did as well. 

He pulled in to the campus. He noticed that there were a lot of bumper stickers on car. There were contemporary christian music starions bumper sticker. There were generic and penticostal bumper sticker. All he had on his car was that he loved his beigle. 

He walked inside. He saw students geting out. “Hey there!” she said. He kissed her on her cheek. She took his hand. “The food does not contain a substence that turns people into penticostals do you?” he asked. “I am not alowed to talk about that. ” she said.

They held hands as they walked to the dining hall. This was his second time on campus. He stil felt out of place.  He got a meal ticket then got lunch. He sat down at a table with lexi and her friends. 

She Introduced him to everyone. They all seemed like nice people.  They were friendly and polite to him. 

“So your studying to be a baptist pastor? ” one student asked. ” yes i am. ” he said. “I see. I know a little bit about fundimental Baptist university.  You are known to not believe in the gifts of the holy spirit?” jake a student remarked.  

“Well. I do believe in the gifts of the holy spirit. I beleve that tounges and phophecy were gifts but they were ones of manny not the only gifts of the sprit.i beleve that there are multiple gifts of the holy sprit . all are importent. I beleve tounges and phophecy ceased as gifts upon completion of scripture.  ” he said in response. 

“That cannot be proven beyound doubt.  There is no verse that says in 345 ad tounges will cease.” jake commented. ” corinthians 13: 10 says that phophecy and tounges will cease. “He said.

” i know the view that phophecy and tounges ceased on completion of scripture. There is no evidence that the completion of canon of scripture is “the perfect. ” a student ben said. 

“Peater said that we have what we need for life and godliness. One of ny profesors like to say that the bible has the answer for every issue in life. The bible does not address every issue we faced specifically but there are principles. “He said.

“Every time spiritual gifts are referenced, tounges and phophecy make that list. There are test are phophetic utterance.  In the new testament epistles tounges and phophecy are viwed as viable gifts of the holy sprit. There is only one reference to its ceasing. It seems to be in the distent future. ” Jake said.

“It seams Baptist do not supernatural.  ” valerie said. “I disagree with that satement. We do believe in supernatural. We see miracles as things only the lord could do. I am suspect of believers performung miracles in this age. ” he said.

“We are commanded to perform mericles?” ben asked. ” yes . in acts we see miracles performed by belevers getting less and less.  ” he said.

“That is a weak argument. ” Valerie said. Mercifully it was nearing time for him to get back to his campus.  He took her hand and they walked outside. 

“Oh no. Your never setting foot on campus again are you?” she asked.”no im fine. Did you enjoy that?”he asked. “You have no idea.  So are we stil friends? ” she asked in a playful mannor. 

He laughed. “Yea we are stil friends! ” he said. “Good.  So i will see you after clases. “She said. “You got it. I have old testiment servey? You?” she asked. “Contemporary work of the holy sprit. ” she said. “Interesting.  ” he said. She chuckled.

He huuged her. ” i will miss you. ” she said.  “I will miss you lex. ” he said. They kissed on the cheek then they dispersed.  He went back to his campus.  

He picked her up later in the day. She was waiting for him.she hugged him. “I know it has not been that long but i realy did miss you. ” she said. “I missed you too.  ” he said.

She was invited to stay for dinner at his parents house. She accepted. After dinner they sat on the steps. “So tomorrow both our schedules are all over the place. We have clases and work. Wednesday is midweek service.how about i pick you up. I come see you at fbu. Assuming your ok being seen with a crazy penticostal.  ” she suggested. 

“It is your turn lex. I love the idea. ” he said. “Great!  I was hoping you would.  I hope they go easy on me. ” she said.  “No promises.  ” he said.She laughed and said ok. 

On Wednesday she pulled in to his driveway.  He got in. “Have you consudered downsizing your bumper sticker colection?” he asked. “You ashamed to be seen with me?” she asked. “You no !your car i am not so sure.  I meen ‘got holy sprit?’ ‘have you spoken in tounges today?” he asked. She chuckled. “No i have not considered scaling back on my bumper stickers. ” she said. “I figured i would try. ” he said. 

“What clases do you have today?”she asked. “History and thology of missions,and romons. You?”he asked.”harmony of the gospels and christian ethics.”she said. “Normal clases not sprituel laughter.”he said. “Hay that is a really good course.”she said. “I made that up. Please tell me that is not a real course?”he asked. 

She kept quiet.  They arived at his campus. “So i will see you at lunch? ” he asked. “You bett!”she said. “I will tell my friends to go easy on you but no promises.  ” he said. “Ok!” she said. 

“Have a good day at school! “She said.  “You too. See you at noon. “He said. He started to walk off. ” hey. Lex i love you!” he said. She was a bit taken aback. “I love you. ” she said. 

As she drove off she realized something changed with him. The wall he put up was starting to come down. He was letting himself fall in love with her. She liked seing him relaxed. She felt like this was starting to become real. 

She came back at noon. She had never been on he campis of an independent fundimental baptist college before. She walked around. “Can i help you?”a young lady asked. “Hi lex!” he said.

“Hi . i have not trigered any proximity alarm yet. ” she said. “Danger penticostal alert. Oh you will need this. I took care of lunch.” he said. “You did not need to do that.” she said.”i wanted to. ” he said. “Thank you”she said. ” no problem lex.” he told her. 

They went to the dining hall. They got lunch and sat down at a table. “Doctor mcgath this is lexi.”he said.”so your lexi. I had looked froward to meeting you. I am the president of the college.”he said.

“Yes. Derrek hs mentioned you . “he said. “It is good to Finaly meet you. We have an anual November retreet. I hope you can attend.” he said..”derrek has mentioned it. I am planing to. ” she said. “Excellent.  ” he said. 

“Your the reason derrek is bumping into things?”another comented. “I have been a little distracted. My grades have not been effected.  “Derrek said. “His grades are really good. He is mostly an a student but nothing below a b. ” the president said. “I am glad to hear that i am not distracting him from his accedemics.” she said. 

“No your not. He has not hurt hinself or any one else.”the president said. “I dont think that i have had my head too much in the clouds!” he remarked.” your fine.”the president said.

“I understand your penticostal?” the president said. ” yes i am. Dont wory i am not going to turn him penticostal.  “She assured him. 

“I am not too concerned. Derek is a promising student. We are excited what the lord will do on your lives. ” he said. “I am as well. ” she said.

“My wife is looking froward to meeting you.  She will be at the retreet.  Derek you and lexi will need to drop by the house sometime.” he said.”of course. ” she said. 

She was nervous about it. Derek considered doctor mcgath a close mentor. She would become very close with doctor mcgath’s wife. The two families would be very close. 

She had had a very good visit.she was glad she came. She was glad she met the school president.he walked her to her car. “I will see you tonight? “He asked. “I cant wait. I will miss you.”she said. “I will miss you. “He said. She hughed him. 

She returned after her afternoon clases. She picked him up. “Hi hunnie!”he said. ” hi derrek.” she said. He got in and he hugged her. 

She felt at home right now. She felt like she got a glimpse at what her future might look like. She was exited.  

They went to his church . the church was getting used to seing her. She was getting used to them as well. 

At prayer time,she was exited to get together to get together with his family and other ladies in the church. She went downstairs.  After the prayer time. “We are so glad that you have been comming. ” many ann said.

“Thank you. I am enjoying getting to know all of you. ” she told her. “Keep comming. ” another lady said. “I will.”she said.

Anna and lexi talked on there way back upstairs. “I am realy glad you have been coming to church as well. I have really enjoyed getting to know you. “Anna said.  “Thank you. I have enjoyed getting to know you. “She told the lady she  hoped would be her future mother in law. 

“I am glad you and derrek have worked out your akwardness. ” she said.  “I am too. Derek is a good guy. I really like him.” she said. Anna smiled”i know.” anna said. 

After church they sat on the steps. “You seam to be more comfortable now. You have changed. You have let your gaurd down. ” she said.

“I am ready to embrace this. I am ready to embrace this. ” he said. She smiled. She hugged him. 

End of part 16. 

Next up

Lexi deals with her late mom’s birrhday. 

Holding hands part 15

Previously on holding hands.

While visiting a penticoastal church bible colege student derek carlson meats lexsi graves. At the service the pastor prophesied that they should be married.  

She embraced it whole heartily.  He had doubts. After a series of indisiveness , lexsi tells him to take some time and decide if he wants this or not. He decides that he does.  

He is now ready to begin a new chapter in there relationship.  She is woried that he might still have doubts.  She is not sure if she should hold back a bit. She really does not want to. 

 The sunday after they got back together, she went to his house a litle bit before the evening service was to begin. She wore a purple top and black skirt and flip flops.  He came out to meet him. He wore a black suit and tie. 

His presence always made her smile.today was no different.  From the first time she met him,she thought that he was very handsome. 

He hugged her. He gave her a light peck on the cheak. “Hi hunie !” she said.  “Hey lex! ” he said. ” how was church thus morning?” she asked. “Doing good.  I went though exodus for survey class. Morning service dad preached on psalm 22. How was your church? ” he asked. “It was good.  The pastor preached on the holy spirit. No penticoastal jokes dere!” she said.

“I would never. Well i might but i will refrain.” he said. “It was realy good.you should listen to it. Its on the web site. ” she said. ” mayby i will. ” he said. She chuckled. 

“Ready to walk over to the church?” he asked. “Sure!” she said. He took her hand. ” so your preaching tonight?” she asked. “That is corect. I just have to decide what i am preaching on. Im kidding.  I had it all writen on Wednesday.  ” he said.

“You usualy have surmon ideas on note cards dont you. You just have to decide which one to go with dont you?” she asked. “You have caught on to my methods? Yes its true. Sometimes i merge several ides into one.  ” he said.

“I am excited to hear you preach tonight. ” she said. ” thanks.  I always look forward to being able to preach the word. ” he told her. 

No one at his church besides his immediate family knew that they had been on a break. They had noticed that they acted differently then they had before. 

Now they were back.  They enjoyed each other. It was clear and evident. There love for eachother led to love for others. Tonight they were happy. This was clear. 

Derrek preached on being restored to a relationship with God folowing a setback.  He started with the fall of Adam and eve. He discussed david’s fall and he discussed the return of the captives under Nehemiah and ezra. He discused Romans 8 and first john two. He discused the eternal esate. He discused how we should strive to be closer to the lord as we look froward to one day having christlikeness. 

Lexi was taking notes as fast as she could. There was so much hear. She was writing notes copying what he said as well as fast as she could.  She also wrote some of her thoughts. She would relisten to it off the website. 

The last two weeks had been hard on her. It took a toll on her. Tonight this surmon reminded her why she wanted to marry him. This confirned in her mind his call to ministry and her call to be his wife.  Her ministry was inter twined with his. 

She knew he worked hard on this. This was on  his heart. God has imparted on him wisdom. He was sensitive to the things of the lord. He had Godly wisdom. He felt a burden to impart this to others. 

After the service, she went to him. “I realy liked your message.  ” she told him. “Praise the lord. It is something i feel strongly about.  ” he told her. “I can tell. ” she said.

He talked to various people in the church. Then after everyone had left. He and lexi walked back to his parents house. They sat on the porch as was there custom.  

“So what is our time table? ” she asked. “Well i am a jr in college.  So are you. This is early november. We probably should complete our college traning. I am thinking the very earliest would be after graduation. The earliest is a year and seven mouths.  Somewhere after that. ” he said.

“Ok. Thats sounds reasonable.  ” she responded.  “Are you ok with that?” he asked.  “Well i want to mary you tomorrow.  I know we have to have a time of courting.  I agree. We need to get to know eachother. We need to go through marriage counseling.  Yes. That sounds reasonable.  I just wanted to find out where you are. “She said. 

“What would your time table look like?” he asked. ” realistically yes. I think sometime after graduation. I would like it be not too long after graduation.  I understand it might need to be a bit later. That is a reasonable time frame. I would not want it much beyond two years from now. That i gues is a preference.  ” she said.

“I understand that. I definently do. I agree with that.  I dont want it to go beyond two years from now. ” he said.

“So what is your time frame for ministry?” she said. “Right now i am an unoficial asistent pastor,youth pastor etc. My dad is mentoting me. I want to start churches. I am not sure if i want to pastor an excisting one first or find an unreached area and start a church. Dad started a church from scratch then did it two more times.  I hold a lisence to preach that is renewed every year. I want to become ordained.  In independent Baptist you go before an ordination council that consist of pastors curent or retired. The church votes on it baised on thr recommendation of the council. I might want to start a church on behath of gospel baptist. A kind of missionary pastor.  We could do it independently as well. ” he said.

“It sounds like you have given it a lot of thought. Would you want to get maried before becoming a pastor? ” he asked. “That is what i am thinking. If not they would be close together. I am open to pastoring an excisting churcg first but i feel called specifically to church planting. I gues my next phase of ministry is getting maried. ” he said.

“Thats sound reasonable.  ” she told her. “What are your thoughts on time table of ministry?” he asked. “I agree with you. That is a sound plan. I am glad i know your thinking on this. I am pleased that you have it well planned out. ” she said. 

“Are you ok with being a baptist pastor’s wife?” he asked. “I think i am. I think i have the gifts talents and abilities to be an efective pastor’s wife. I sing, i played several instruments including the piano. I have been told i have the gifts of encouragement.  I like to desiple. As for being a baptist pastor’s wife i am not sure about that. I have to pratice staying still during a church service. That might take some work. ” she admitted. 

He chuckled. ” i dont think i have ever seen you sit still. ” he said.”no you probably have not. I will work on that.  ” she said. “Can i watch you work on that?” he asked. 

She gently poked him. “Your one to talk dere. You dont dance or raise your hands but you nevet sit still. “She remarked.  ” true. ” he said. 

“You think i can be a good Baptist pastor’s wife?” she asked. He smiled.”absolutely.  You will be an amazing pastor’s wife.  ” he said. She smiled. “Thanks.  I will definently aspire to that with the help of the holy sprit. ” she said. “I know you will. I have full confidence in that. The lord has begun a good work in you. He will complete it on the day of christ. ” he said. 

“I know he will do the same for you. ” she said.  ” thank you lex. ” he answered. 

He walked her to her car. “Hey i have clases tomorrow morning.  You want to stop by hear tomorrow morning before clases?” he asked. “Yea. Sounds great. I will see you then.” she said. He kissed her on the cheak. They hugged. He watched her leave.

Next up

Derek and lexi get more involved in each others world. 

Holding hands part 14

Saterday arived. He had to give lexi an answer today. He finaly made up his mind definitively  on saterday morning. He prayed about it. He was peace. 

Lexi had incisted that whatever he decided, it had to be definitive.  It had to be the final answer. He had agreed.  He was ready. 

 Saterday afternoon he called her. Lexi was in her room. She did not want to answer the phone but she did. She answered the phone. “Hey dare!” she said. 

“Hi lex. Do you want to go to church tonight with me?” derrek asked. “Yes.of course. Do you have an answer?” she asked. “I do. ” he said “i want to hear it tonight on our way to church ok?”she asked. ” ok.” he said.

“I will see you then. ” she said. “You got it.” he said. Then they hung up. She did not do much that Day. She did not have a lot of ambition.she felt weary.  She spent much of her day in her room. 

She changed from a tank top and pajama pants to a yellow short sleve dress.  She put on flip flops. She would wait for him to arive. 

He always wore a suit and tie to his church. At youth group that he was a leader at, he wore a polo shirt. He usualy dressed down wgen he attended her church. He wore a dress shirt and jeens.  He almost changed to khakies but decided he looked fine. 

He said good bye to his family. He got into his car. He drove to her apartment. She was emotionaly exhausted.  She was not her usualy bubbly exerburent self. She kinda dragged herself to do anything.  

She often time waited for him on her steps but not today.  She was stil inside when he pulled in. She just did not have a spring in her step today.she opened the screen door and walked to the car.

“Look if the answer is no lets just part ways and that will be that!” she said “what? No the answer is yes. I am in!” he said. 

There was a single tear that ran down her cheak. ” really?” she asked. “Yes. Really hunnie!” he answered. He wraped his arms around her and hugged her. He had ment it to be a quick hug. She would not let him go. She held on to him for a bit. 

“Ok im ready!” she said.he started the car. The car left his driveway. “Your totaly in. Your one hundred percent in this? ” she asked. “Yes i am. I dont totaly understand it. I do believe the lord had brought us together. I believe the lord is glorified by us being together. I believe that saten wins if we are not. That does not totaly make sence to me but i do believe that.” he told her. 

“Ok i just had to make sure!” she said. The car arived at thr church parking lot. He parked the car. ” hey do you want to go out for cofee at our usual spot after the service?” she asked.” yes! Absolutely! ” she said. 

She realy wanted to just sit and talk to  him.  She felt like she had a lot to talk about. She felt like they really needed to talk and talk soon.they needed to have a deep and meaningful conversation.   They had a lot to figure out and work out. 

They both got of the vehicle. She took her hand. They walked hand in hand into the church. ” i like the outfit tobight. Jeens and dress shirt works for you . ” she said. ” thanks. ” he said.

They went to the sanctuary.  They sat next to tom and denise and there family. “It is good to see you two together. ” tom said. They smiled at him and then at eachother.   

During the worship time she raised one hand. She would not let go of him.she felt insicure that day. She was not leting him go. 

He sang along.he knew most of the songs now.  He would not dance. Some times he found himself swaying but when he realize it he stoped. She laughed st him. She loved it. He was the funniest when he was not trying.  She found his old fashoned ways to be endearing.  

She observed that he was reserve. He was pasive. He was traditional. She believed that she could bring him out of her shek. She did not want to change him . she liked how he was. She wanted him to stay conservitive in most things.  She wanted him to calm down in orthers. She was becoming king james prefered.she wore pants but saw that dreses or skirts were probably more famine.  She hoped he would moderate on other isues like music. She hoped he could go to a set point on these isues. She did not want to change him just calm him down on a few isues. 

He watched her. She was silly at times. Totally the oposite of him in many words. She seemed to be bold.she had little inhibitions.  She never sat stil.  He pictured her always dancing always swaying.  Always with a song on her heart if not on her lips. The perpetual optimist. Almost poly anish but with a touch of realism. Perhaps they were even eachother out he thought. 

During the worship time, he wondared if the lord could realy take him and her two people who seemed hopelessly and terminaly incompatible and make them truely one flesh? Then it dawned on him that he already had. 

After the service ,they went to there usual place for cofee. She was fairly qiet. “Are you upset with me?”he asked. “A little. She answered. 

“I kinda figured. “He answered.”i love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  I am a little upset with you. Why did you drag this our for two weeks? This should not have taken you five minutes.  Either you want to be with or you dont.if you dont feel it, you dont feel it.” she said.

“Its not that simple. I want to be with yoy.i had to make sure it was God’s will. ” he said.”you baptist. Its all logic. Platonic Christianity.  It is anlitical. It is all acdemic. Do you not feel anything?  “She asked. 

“This is the bigest decison of our lives. Logic has to come into it. ” he said.”you canot dismiss feelings entirely as well!” she told her. ” i know that.  ” he said.

“I want you to want this. I want you to want to be with me. I want you to blow you away. I want you to love me as much as i love you! Your too buisy running statistical anylises to see the forest from the trees!” lexi told him. 

“I do love you. I do want to want to be with you. Thats who i am. I am anytical. Mayby i do psycho analize everything .  ” she told him. 

“”I know you would perfer i be if.b. i have been completely honest with you. I wont change my views on tonges unless i am convinced by the bible.  I am wiling to go to your church and embrace most of independent baptist. Is it not enough i can go to your church all the time and go to myine on Saterday and mid week. ” she said. 

” no i dont mind how we have it! Now” he said. “Look your aloud to tell me how you feel?” she said. ” this is how i feel. ” he told her. ” ok. “She said. 

“Im sory this is not how i wanted tonight to go. I want us to be happy. I want us to enjoy eachother.  ” she said. ” i am happy. I do enjoy you. I do want this. ” he said. 

” are you totaly in? Are you one percent in?” she asked. ” yes absolutely.  ” he answered. ” i am sory.i feel realy insicure tonight. I do trust you. I missed you. These last two weeks were horible. Lets never do this ever again. Ok? Lets be apart like this ! I am upset but i stil love you. I want to know you.  I want to realy know you. Please let me in. Break down those walls of yours ok?” she asked.

“Ok. No more walls. These last two weeks were terible. I agree lets never do that again. I missed you too. ” he said. 

“You were so funny tonight!” she said “me?” he asked. “You were swaying. Well until you realized you realized you were doing it and then you stoped.  It was cute!” she said. 

“You were cute yourself. ” he said smiling. ” how so?” she asked. ” its hard to explain. Your just are. My penticostal preee fiancée! ” he said. ” i like the sound of that. ” she said.  

“Im really sory. I did not consider you like i said. I did not take your feelings into acount. I messed up big time. Im sorry. ” he said. 

“I forgive you. Thank you.”she said.”i did up walls. I gues i only let you get so far. “He said. “No more walls? Will you let me in?” she asked. “Yes i will. No more walls. ” he said. “Ok good. I am not upset anymore. I might have overeacted. These two weeks made me weary. Leta never do this again. Even if its hard lets see eachother every day. In person or phone but lets keep the lines of communication open.”she said.  “Ok agreed “he said. 

“Do you really see us as pre enganged?”she asked. “I do. Do you see see is that way? “He asked. She smiled. “Yes i do. ” she said. 

They left the cofee shop holding hands. They got into the car . There Eyes met. He drove her home. He walked her to het steps.

He hugged her. She held on to him. He kissed her on the cheak.  “I will see you tomorrow hunnie!” she said. “You got it. I love you lex!”he said. “I love you dare!” she said. She went inside smiling.  He drove off. 

He knew how he felt. He knew how much he loved her. He was glad that he had met her. She would change his life, she already had. He believe he changed hers as well. He was excited to begin there life togather. 

End of part 14

Next up 

Derrek and lexi have a lot of heart to heart talks. 

Holding hands part 13

“What about this seccond?”hilda asked.  ” am i interrupting something? “Dr. Micheal mcgaff the colege ptesident asked. “No sir. Not at all. “Derrek responded.

“When do i get to meet this alexa i have heard so much about?” he asked. “Soon i hope. Perhaps at the november retreat.  ” derrek said. “Please introduce us to you. Marta and i are looking froward to meeting her. “He said. “Of course.” derek said.

 Derrek thought to himself, “thank you lord.” he realized he was being an idiot. A few mouths later he spoke to doctor mcgaff about this event. The doctor admited that when he saw him talking to hilda,he felt that he needed to interveign  so he did. 

He did not have a problem with hilda.she was a Godly person. She did later mary and she and her husband had a family and served the lord. She just was not his will for derek. Doctor mcgaff preceved that. 

Derek realized that he was about to go down a path that he was already told not to.  When God closed a door you should not try to reopen it.he said a quick prayer and then went back to where everyone was gathered. He kinda wanted to leave. He did value the president and his family and the others in attendence. 

After a while when protical aloud he headed out. He went to the car and drove home. He called lexi. “Hi lex! “He said. 

“Hi you were at my church? “She asked.”yea. I sat down with pastor jeff. I got his perspective. ” he said. “Oh. Are you close to a decison?”she asked. “Not yet. I still have some questions.  The same isues i guess. “He said. 

” your window is closing fast. ” she told him. ” i realize that. “He saif. “So yes is still a posibility? ” She asked. “Yes of course. Why do you ask?” he asked. “I saw you with someone!” she said. “Oh. She is the grand daughter of a famous evangelist. We went on dates a few times. We decided not to persue it. ” he told her.

” alright. If you dont want this, its ok. We can move on. ” she said. ” no i still want us to be a posobility. ” he told her. “Ok. I am not sure why i called. Perhaps i just wanted to hear your voice.  I was cutious. “She said.

After that they hung up. Things were stil in doubt. She moved closer and closer to being ready to call it off. 

 That Saturday he decided to go to her church. He did not tell her that he was there. He saw her in the crowd singing. He had become more familar with the music. He sang along. He drew the line at hand raising.

He wanted to tell her he was there. He was not sure why he had come. He prayed a bit before the survice. He tried to avoid his brother and his family as well. He liked the message.  He left right after the service. She never knew he was there. He did tell her later. She was not suprised. 

He spent sunday afternoon in prayer and study.  He took a lot of notes. He wrote down thoughts. The more he thought on it, the less forthcoming these answers were. 

Lexi considered not coming to his church but she felt she needed to be there. It was hard for her to go. She had trouble finding her ambition . she did manage to get into the car and headed to the church. 

She walked in a hesitated mennor. She finaly made it to the auditorium. He looked up and saw her. “Hi !” he said.  She said ” hi” she sat down. They engaged in smal talk but said little of substence. After the service they talked to various people in the church. Then he walled her to the car.

She felt that things just were not the same between them. She wondered if it could be. She felt like both of them were in the wilderness.  She did not know how or if they could put it back together. She did not know what to do? Should she drop this request for a final decision. Should she break up with him? She became weary with everything.   

Derrek wanted to have a relationship with lexi. He had no idea if it was God’s will. What if it was not? Why did he feel the way he did for her? He knew he did. It was very confusing. 

Wendsday night came. She came to his church. ” its almost time!” she said.  “I know. ” he said. “Are you close to an answer?” she asked. “I am getting there. ” he said. “Ok. ” she said. 

She had a good time with his mom and sisters.  ” we miss seing you around. You will have to start coming around again. We will have to have you over for supper. ” anna said. “We will see.  ” she said. 

She suspected that it might be all over on saterday. She was ready to have an answer. Either way she thought. 

On Friday his dad went to see him. “So are you close to an answer?” his dad asked. “I am close. ” he answered.”i have given this a lot of thought.when dating a lady you have to take everything serious. You have to look at red flags. They have to be adressed. You have to keep in mind that any potential wife is a sinner saved by grace.  You want a wife that lives by faith. Right now is the time to adress concerns. Marriage is a union of two siners. In a christian marriage,  it is two siners saved by grace. You canot lose sight of God”s grace. Dont be so hung up on a potential spouse failures that you miss God’s working in there lives. I know that God is working in lexi’s life. There is evidence of her spiritual growth.  There is evidence that she is growing as well. Do you see anything that makes you would clasify her  as a deal breaker?” his dad asked. 

” no. Her views on speaking in tounges. I do not see a character flaw that disqalifies her as a spouse. I see charactersics that would be helpful to my future ministry. ” derrek said. “I do too. ” reverend bryan carlson said.

“Were it not for the word i would be ready to embrace this. I dont see that it can be his will. I just cant. ” derrek admited. ” the prophetic word is prolemetic i agree. I dont understand that aspect. It seams that the lord bas brought you two together.  Do you believe God can be glorified with your relationship with her? ” he asked. 

He thought it over. ” yes i do. ” derrek responded.  “Do you believe that you and lexi going your separate ways will glorify God? Can you serve the Lord as effective without her as you can with? ” he asked. 

“Dad, i noticed you are reluctant to advise me directly with a yea or nea but sence it is friday and i need to give her an answer tomorrow night what is your recomendation?” he asked.

The pastor chuckled. “What are you doing? Why did it take this long? Mary her. The lord has brought you two together.  Instead of focusing in on if, why not figure out why. Do you honestly see yourself with someone other then lexi?” he asked.  “No i dont! ” derek answered. 

 “Now imagine never ever seing lexi again this side of eternity. How would you feel about that?” he asked. Derrek was prety sure he had an answer.  

End of part 13.

Next up 

 Derrek and lexi meet up at her church. He gives her his answer. 

Holding hands part 12

Derek went to classes in the morning.  He tried to focus on school work. He did not want to get sidetracked. After school he decided to go talk to pastor jeff at lexi’s church. He hoped to be able to talk to him. 

Weird he found it odd just how familar with the pentecostal church he was. He asked a janitor where the pastors office was. As he walked he saw pastor jeff the sr pastor. “Hi derrek. “The pastor said.

“Can i talk to you for a minute?”derek asked. “Of course this way”he said. They went to his office at the end of the hall. They entered the office. He closed the door.

“I had been meaning to sit down with you but i have bot got there yet. Pitfalls of pastoring a mega church.”jeff said. “I am an asitent pastor at a church of thirty regular attenders and find it hard to juggle a shedule. I totaly understand.”derrek said. 

“Im sure the pronouncement of the word was quite a shock to your syistom.”jeff remarked.  “It was. As a baptist i find the notion of a prophetic word to be problematic.  I cant beleve that the lord still cominicate in this mannor. “He said. 

“Well we dont plan these things. I simply got the feeling. I had to coninicate this. I knew nothing about you. I know lexi quite well.  I just felt that i had to delare this to the church. I knew nothing of your back ground. I had no ulterior motive in bringing it to you. It is not a scam. “He said.

“I cant bring myself to acept that it is from the lord. Lexi ow amazing. I have not found anyone quite like her. I wish we had met in a different mannor. “Derrek told him. 

” i find it inconceivable that people do not beleve in prophecy. For me i see no moral dilemma.  I understand where you are coming from. I respect your point of view.”jeff said. 

“It is just hard for me to accept that our relationship is form the lord. I cant deny how i feel about her. “He said. 

“Everyone has different views about Christian marieges. Some beleve that you can chose anyone provided they are saved. I believe that God creates a spouse for people. I cant prove it from scripture.  I cant beleve a decision not crucial to left to chance.do you believe its possible that she was created with you in mind and vice versa?” jeff asked. 

“From what i have seen it certently possible.  We do click even though we could not be futher away on several isues. ” derrek said. 

“Are yoy having doubts about the relationship? “Jeff asked. “I do. The doubts all concern the word. I see nothing about her character or intregrety that would cause me dificulty. “He said. 

“This is something only you can figure out. Whatever you decide you must be fully persuaded in your mind. I really beleve you two are ment for eachother. It is not just the word.  The fact you are hear. The fact that your grasping for staws. Hoping to justify it. You do want this. ” pastor jeff said. 

“I do want this. At first i was sceptical but now. If i make the wrong choice the consequences are enormous. ” he asked.  ” they always are. “Jeff added.”i have no idea what i will do”he said.

“I hope you will decide to continue your relationship with her. “He said.”i am seriously consider it. “Derrem said. 

“I assume if and lexi get maried,you two will go to your church? “He asked.”my dad is the pastor of gospel Baptist church. Dad has been mentoring me. I am doing an internship. I am a defecto assistant pastor. I feel called to being a pastor. Were we to get maried, gbc would be our home church. She is ok with that. I know it will be hard for her. She really likes this church.  ” derrek said. 

“Lexi is a vital part of our church. She will be missed. I want her to be where the lord wants her to be. I hope you two will not be strangers. I am glad you have been comming.  I hope you will try to understand her world. ” the pastor said. He considered her words. 

Lexi was driving home from her clases. She drove by the church. She was suprised to see derrek’s car at the church. She was curious. She considered stoping. Then her phone went off. 

She wondered if it was derrek. She saw that it was someone else.  She picked it up. “Hello joel! Whats up?” lexi asked. “Hi lexi i am in town. Alumni bussiness. I was wondering if we get together for lunch? ” joel said. “Yea ok. ” she said. 

Derrek left the church feeling good about things. He felt like he was closer to a decison. He was starting to think he could be with lexi and stil be sceptical of the word. He realized he liked pastor jeff personaly. He went to his car. 

Joel was considered a legend in the penticostal world. He was a senior when she was a freshman. He had already  been very involved in penticostal circles even before he went to college.  He had a blog and you tube chenel and was already a thought leader in the movement before he started his collegiate life. She found herself enamered with him.she had no idea he was there until she arived on campus.  She had folowed his blog and listened to his podcast. She was thriled to meet him. 

She wanted to date him. At one time it seemed to head in that direction. The aura serounding him dissipated. Joel was a showman. He seamed to struggle with pride. She eventually backed off . 

“”So how long will you be in town?”she asked. “A week. I am trying to start evengistic meetings in the reigion. “Joel said. “Is this a target area ?” she asked. “It is. It seems the perfect area for a revival.  I believe we can duplicate the revival in Toronto and Florida hear. I believe this could be the beggining of something. ” Joel said. 

“Is the school behind it?” she asked. “They have there doubts. I believe they will. I am trying to work on the alumli association.  I hope that if i can get there suport then the school will suport it. “Joel said. 

“Why this area?” she asked. “It just seams to make sense.  Sprit of fire is hear. There are several penticostal mega churches hear. It seems to be the best spot. ” joel said. “I see. “She said.

“Lexi i know we did not leave on the best of terms.  I regret that. I feel we could have been a great item. ” joel said. “Joel im seing someone. Its prety serious. ” she said. 

“I looked over your profile. Really a casationist. How can you even consider dating someone like that. I know you read over lord a look at the history of the casation movement.  People like him stifle the work of the holy spirit. ” joel said. 

Lexi wished that she had not accepted his offer to go to lunch with him. She just wanted to get out of there. How could she be so blind? 

“Like i said it is very serious. ” she said. “How serious?” he asked. She thought to herself. “Im going to mary this man. ” . “it is very serious. ” she said. ” i see. ” joel said. 

“So would you be interested in being involved in evengilistic crusades were they to occur?” he asked.  “I want to see how involved thr school is. We will see. I dont want to commit quite yet. ” she said. “I see. I hoped you would jump at it. I know you have jumped on to previous crusades. ” he said. “Perhaps i will junp on this one. I want to see how it shapes up. ” she said. “Ok. “He said. 

Derek left the church parking lot. He drove passed the restaurant. He saw her car. He saw her walking out with joel. Oh no he thought. Did i wait too long? Did i blow all this? He wondered. 

He drove home. He got a call on his on his phone. He looked at his phone.it was doctor l. Everit tompson.he picked up the phone. ” hello sir. ” he said. 

“Hi i am speaking in chepel tomorrow. I was hoping you would stop by . ”   he said. “Of course. I would be happy to. ” he said. 

He drove to the guest house on campus. He parked the car. He got out of the car. He knocked on the door. He was greated by doctor tompson. “Derrek its good to see you. ” tompson said. “Thank you sir. It is good to see you. ” derrek responded. 

He saw someone with him. “You remember my granddaughter hilda. ” he said. “Of course. Hello hilda. It is good to see you. ” derrek said. “Likewise. ” she said. 

They invited him to have diner with them at the presidents residence.  He agreed. After he got some time with hilda. There had some interest between the two. It had never emerged. 

“How have you been?” hilda asked. “Good. You?” Derek said. ” very good. ” he said. “Im glad to hear that. ” she said.

They talked for a while. His phone went off. It was lex. He felt it was rude to interupt his conversation with hilda. Hilda was like him. They were very similar.  He and lex realy never made sence to him. 

 “It is true your romantically involved with soneone?” she asked. “Yes i am with someone “Derrek said. “I knew i would loose you if i did not act. It was never the right time.  Did you ever consider an us?” she asked. “I did. I have not lately. ” he said.  “What about this seccond?”hilda asked.

 Lexi drove to her apartment.  She drove passed his campus.  He saw Derrek with a girl she did not recognize. She feared that she had pushed him away. She went home sad. 

She called a friend.  “Hi reese. Its lexi. “She said.”hi i have been meening to call you. Joel ganong may contact you. If it does walk away. I fear he may be the next tod bently. “Reese said. “He did contact me. I want to stay clear of him. “She said.

“Good.  I am glad to hear it. I hope Sprit of fire will follow suit. ” reese said. “I think they will. ” she said. “I am glad you saw though him. You have always showed evidence of good discernment.  “Reese said. “I had a bad feeling about this. At one time i probably would have blndly followed him. My spindy sence has improved.  I wanted to marry Joel once upon a time. ” she said. “I remember.  I was so jealous.  “Reese said. “I did not realize that.  ” she said. 

“Well i will let you go. I am glad i got to talk to you. ” reese said. “It is good to hear from you. ” she said. 

Was things heading in a bad direction. Could things get back on tract? 

End of part 12. 


Holding hands part 11

Derek’s life canged a short while ago. While attending a penticoastal church,a pastor announced that he was to mary a young lady named lexi. He tried to rebuff it but it did not work. 

Now she had given it time to think.  She gave him time to reflect. He felt like he was getting no where. He wanted to marry her. He knew that. He just could not get pass how they met. He could not ligitimize it in his mind.  He felt he had to pass on this relationship.  Could he realistically walk away? Could he forget about her? 

It was now wendsday. The day of his curch’s midweek service. He came into it emotionaly exhausted.  He had not spoken to her sence sunday night. 

She tried to keep in the word. She tried to stay in prayer. It was proving a dificult task. She considered not going to the midweek service. She wanted to be there. She knew she should. 

 She went into the sanctuary.  Several greated her. They were becoming used to her presence. She was becoming part of there church family. Everyone was happy to see her..usualy that would have made her happy. Not so much today.  She wanted to be a part of the church family.  She did not want to jump in now. Just in case it did not work out. 

He saw her. She came over to him. “Hi !”he said. “Hi ! How are you?”she asked. “Good. You?” he asked. “Doing good. School is keeping me buisy. “She said. “I gues it takes alot of practice to get slain in the sprit. “He said. “I knew you were going to make a penticoastal joke.” she said. “I could not help it. Well i could have but i did not want to. “He said. “Im sure. “She said. 

Neither one knew what to say.she wanted to ask if he was close to a decison. She promised him two weeks.she should give him that. Things seemed straned between them. They tried to make the best of it. 

During the prayer time the man and women split into groups.  She considered not joining anna’s group.  She decided that would be rude. She enjoyed spending time with the women who would one day be her mother in law or would she? She was not sure any more. She did not doubt the word but could someone who did not believe in it be bound by it. 

“Hi anna!”lexi said. “Hi sit down. It is good to see you. I have missed seing you.”Derrek’s mom said. ” i have missed seing you. “She said. 

After praying ,they talked for a bit. “You know about Derrek’s and i deciding to take a break so he can sort all of this out. “Lexi said.”yes he did. “She said.

Lexi did not want to say much. She had no idea how his perrents felt about all this. They had given there permisson for them to date. They seam to welcome into the family with open arms but what would happen if he wanted to perpose. She had no idea. 

After the prayer time everyone returned to thw sanctuary. The pastor dismissed everyone. He walked lexi to her car. Lexi really wanted to just go home. As they were walking, his dad went over to her. 

“I had really got to say hi. How are you soinf alexa!”bryan aske.”i am doing fine. I am glad i couls come tonight.  “She said.”i am glad you did too.”he said.

They said there goodbyes. They arived at her car. “Well have a good night.”he said. “You too derrek.”she said.  She got in her car. He watched her leave.

She started to feel like it might be all over between them. She really thought he would chose to be with her. It looked like he really might not. Should she perpare herself for the eventuality that there relationship might end. Was she unwise to jump right into his world. It made so much sense. It seemed perfectly plausible. .now she was not sure.

She still beleved he was perfect for him..she loved him far more now then before. She knew that as long as the prophetic word hung over his head he would have a hard time embracing it. Mayby he never could.

Derek went home after she left. “So are you close to a decison?”his mom asked. “No not yet”derrek said. “Do you think you might consider not being with her?”his farther asked. “I dont see how i can. I cant justify how i can realy on a prophethic word. If i cant justify that,i dont see how i can procede futher.”derrek admitted. 

“If the phrophetic word had not occured, would you be debating this?”his dad asked. He thought about it. “No i would not. If i just met you gradualy. I would not debate it. He fact our meeting was based on that word. “Derek said.

“Then have you made up your mind?” his mom asked. “That is not what i want to happen.  I dont see any other choice. I cant see any other answer. ” derek said. 

“Lets take the word out of the equation for a minute. Do you want to marry her?” his dad asked. “Yes i do” he answered without any hasitation. He had not fully realize that until that moment. 

“That was what i thought. I thought that you did. One belief that is held by some belevers that if you want to do something its out of bonds. Sometimes it is. God works sometimes within our desires. Sonetimes the lord will put in someheart heart to go to a misson field long before they are comisoned to go. It is assumed that if you hate hot climates that is where God will send you.  That is not nesierily true. Perhaps the lord is working in your heart . do you believe that she could be your future wife? Dont think about the word for a while. !” his dad said.

“Without considering the word yes. Absolutely.  I do think that she could be my wife. ” derrek said. “Dont be so quick to dismiss that. Your mom and i see things about her we like. So has the church. We really like her. We think that she could be your wife. She has those qualifications and qalities. That is important.  ” his dad told him.

“We dont want to presure you either way. This could be one of the bigest decision of your life. ” his mom said. “I realize that. ” he said. 

Derek went upstairs. He went back in his mind to the questione he had not really considered. He ignored the question.  Now it was staring him right in the face. He did want to admit it. He did want to mary her. 

He was surprised by that. He was not expecting that. He knew he liked her.  He respected her. There was more. He felt confronted by it. There was no one else. There would never be anyone else. 

A part of him realy wanted to call her.  Tell her he did not need more time. He was ready to fully embrace her. He almost picked up his phone and called her. He could not do it. He felt he needed the next week to make sure. He decided not to rush in. She told him that when he gave her his answer,it had to be definitive. He should wait . he would. 

She regreted coming to his church that night. She wondered if she would attend his church on sunday. She even considered ending the relationship.  

She sat down and wrote an email to him. One she never set. “Derek i stil believe that God wants us to be together. I do not doubts the verasity of the word. Perhaps the will of God can be recisted. Perhaps the perfect will can be diagarded and give way to the permisive will of God. While it is regrettable God gives grace. I dont feal that we can go any furher. Therefore i am ending our relationship.  I will free you from this. I wish you well. I will always love you.  I wish i would have turned out differently.  It is because i know you so well that i know you wont acept this. I will miss you. Love always lexi. Ps i want to move on. I want us to be done.  Good day. ” she wanted it to be clear that they were over. She stared at the screen. She almost hit send. She could not do it. 

Then her laptop swiched to the screen saver. It was of her and derrek. He had his arm around her. She remembered when that picture was taken.  She stared at it. She pictured her life with him. Somehow he would come around. She felt in her sprit that she could not walk away. She would not. She put the email in her draft folder. She turned off her laptop. 

Derrek was realy confused. On the night she told him to take some time to consider this,  he really considered teling her it was over.  He decided to take that time. He looked froward to time apart from her. He was miserable.  He knew it,he was sure that lex knew it. He thought that his parents and family knew it. He hated this.  He hated being apart from her. He liked seing her at church. They were not in good felowship. He hated that. 

He stared at his phone. He looked at the contact list. He saw it say lex. He alnost presed it. He decided it was nit yet time.  

His devotions looked at biblical marriages.  He looked at jacob,racheme and leah. He looked at Joseph’s wife.  She was fasinating. She was an Egyptian. Hia mariege was brought about by mishaps. He found it fasinating.  The bext day he studied moses wife ziporah and his secvond wife. 

He was stil confused and time was slowly running out. He knew he had a week to go. He also knew that things he could not control were moving. In truth he might not have a week. 

End of part 11