I was tired. I fell asleep on the couch. I could sleep anywhere and had. I did not mind sleeping on the couch. I fell asleep. It was a warm night so i did not need a blanket. I slept soundly.
I woke up in the middle of the night. Becky came over to me. She wore a bathrobe over her night gowan. “Babe! Come on. Come to bed! “She pleaded with her. “I ‘d really rather stay out hear right now. ” i said.
“Why? Why are you shutting me out?” she asked. “I just need time to sort all this out rebecca. I don’t know you. I dont know who you are. I can’t just jump into this. ” i told her.
“Im sory you lost your memory. Your stil my husband. I need you. I need you to be in this!” she said. “I need time!”i said in response. “Craig! You cant do this to me! I have needs too. I have tried to be caring. I know this is hard. Your not the only one affected by this. ” she said.
“I dont know what to think. In my mind i went to bed a belchor . i wake up two years later . im maried to a girl i never met. Your a complete stranger. I dont know what to think or feel!” i said.
“What about mr craig? I am the weaker vessel hear. I realize in your mind you woke up and discovered you have a wife. You cant just walk out on me. You have obligations. You need to grow up. ” she said.
“It is hard for me to process all of this. I have no idea how to handle all of this. My system is totally overloaded. My life is totaly different now. I dont know if im coming ot going. ” i said
“Im sory to inconvenience you. I did not think that it was asking too much for my husband to act like my husband! A lack of no memory is not an excuse. I am sory it happened. Your being so absorbed and i dont like it. I am sick to death woried about you. I am woried this will get worse. I am woried that more is wrong. Now i have to deal with you being all loopy. The worst part is that i know that you dont trust me. Your suspicious of me. I worked do hard to earn your trust. I thought i had. “She said.
“I know this is hard on you. I went to bed single. No wife not even a hint of a romantic interest. I wake up maried to a complete stranger. You have to see this from my perspective.”i said.
“Really! You got to be kiding! I see it from your side. I get it! You have obligations! You and i had insurmountable hurdles we had to climb. I need security. I need stability. It is your job to provide that. ” she said.
“I know that. ” i said. “I need my husband. I want the craig Wallace i know back. He would never do this. Please come to bed with me?”she pleaded.
“I need time! ” i told her. “You had it. You weighed the options. You went ahead and perposed to me. Come talk to me when you decide to become an adult again. ” she said.she went to the bedroom and shut the door.
The truth is i did not trust her. How could i trust a complete stranger? I never met her before. I wondered if i would have felt the same way if she had been independent fundamental baptist? Would i be a sceptical?
I was rilled up but i finaly fell asleep. I woke up the next norning. I was out if it at first. I began to remember what had happened the night before.i was still on the couch. I stil saw the evidence of Becky. I was stil in the same predicament i had been the night before. Nothing had changed.
A part of me hoped to wake up where i left off. Back two years ago. That did not happen. I was still hear. This was not a bizare dream.
If i did find myself back in time back two years ago what would i do? Would i forget about this enigmstic becky? Could i?
I had no idea what time is was. I saw the clock and saw that it was a little after seven. I decided to get up. I eas going to put the cofee on but it was already on.
She walked in. “Do you want anything fot breakfast? “She asked. “No im fine. I am not realy hungery. ” i said.”ok. Cofee is made!” she said.”i see that. ” i said. I poured the cofee into a cup. She went into another room.
I sat down at the table and siped the cofee. I was not sure what to do. We were on our honeymoon. Neither one of us felt that way. This was no longer my house well not totaly. It had been beckafied. I needed time to think.
I got dressed and decided to go for a walk. I heard the sounds of birds chirping. The property outside had not realy changed. Birds chirping reminded me of my childhood. I found it nostalgic. I would not clasify me a nature person but i like nature.
It was a beutifull day. I walked around the land. I tried to colect my thoughts. I wanted to make sense of all of this. The lane brought back memories. After colege i wanted to start a church. For years fundamental baptist wanted to start a church hear in hagervile. There was only one church in hagervile before. It was a nac3 congregational church that only had seven people who attended.
There was a burden to start a church there, no one steped up to start it. I was originaly sent as a kind of misionart pastor from the church i grew up in. A kind of timouthy. The church took off sooner then i expected. Before i knew that a core group had emerged.
The church once edtablished was released from the group of churches that started it. I was voted in as pastor. The church was in its own building before it was let on its own. I brought my house after becoming pastor. I decided to start puting down roots hear. I tried to forget about all that that had gone on.
I kept on walking. I wished i could drive. I would love to go for a drive. I had to walk instead per doctor orders.
I walked off my property. I liked this neighborhood. I remembered when i first moved hear, i imagined taking my significant orther on long walks. I had no idea if Becky and i took long walks though hear. I am gusing we had.i was surprised that i was thinking about her.
I kept walking. I was not ready to head back. It was not quite home anymore. My mind went in a thousand different directions. Eventualy it came to her.
How could i have falling in love with her? A former Methodist minister? The evidence indicates that i did. That was so hard to believe. It seemed implausible. Yet that was what happened. She had embraced independent fundamental Baptist. I suspect she caried bagage from her old life. She stil listened to k love and even secular music at times.
I always imagined that my wife would have similer experiences . i expected that she would grow in the i.f.b as i had. I figured she would go to an i.f.b colege. That was not becky. Why did i let myself fall in love with her? What i was thinking? It made no sense.
As i thought it hit me like a ton of bricks. I did comit to her. I would not have made a decison like that lightly. I must have agonized over it. Probably spent time hear. She we broke up ten times . i prayed for a bit. I knew i had to get back to my bride and now.
I ran home. I suspected that becky might be very mad at me. I had no idea how to deflate the situation. I rushed home as fast as i could. I rushed home as fast as i could. I felt bad about how things had occurred. I really messed up.
I had felt so overwhelmed. I felt overwhelmed. I needed to stop. I needed to process things. Now i had. I had kind of woke up from a stupor. I could be ok. Had i sabotaged things with Becky? If i had, was it irreparable?
I ran back to the property. I had no idea how she would react. I did not know how to corect it. I had to try. The trip home seemed like an eternity. I finaly made it home. I saw my house in thr distence. I ran inside.
I had no idea how she would react. Would she be mad at me? How can i resolve this? I sinply had no idea. I went inside. Becky wore a gray shirt and jeens. She was barefoot. Aperently she wore pants if she was mad at me.
“Where did you go?” she asked. ” i went to down the road and back. ” i said. “You probably dont remember but we have a rule that we always let the orther person know where we are. ” she said.
“Your right. I should have told you. Im sory. “I told her. “I have labled myself a feminist. I like everyone to think that i am brave and strong. The truth is i am not that strong. When i am with you i don’t want to be strong. I am ok being the weaker one. Your memory loss does not alow you to renig on your responsibilities. I have committed myself to you. You have to be the strong one. I need you to be the leader. I need you to be in this. I need you! She told me.
“I am sorry. I am sory i made this harder on you. I was so confused. I feel so lost.” i adnited. “Let me help you. Lets face this together. Trust me! She pleaded.
“I dont remember making the vows to you. I pledge to love hornor and cherish you as long as we both shall live. I pledge to be the best husband i can.” i said.
“You may now kiss the bride!” she said. She leened over and kissed him. He hugged her. She held on to him. She held on to her. “You are stil hear.it is still you. ” she said.we held on to eachorther.
I decided that at that moment that i would be committed to this marriage. Memory or no memory i was maried to her. That would no change. I was ready to charge in at full strength.
To be continued.