When plans change part two 

Becca Lynn morgen was second oldest child of five kids. Both sets of parents were from a very conservative independent fundimental Baptist family. Growing up she only read from the king james bible. She only listened to old hymms and sacred Christian music. She never watched telivison or movies. Her reeding materials were catefully screaned. She only wore dresses or skirts never pants excepts for underneath a a skirt during outside activities or chores. 

She seemed the ideal canidate to be a independent baptist wife. Manny young men within the movement wanted to Mary her. Her heart seemed to always belong to one man.it had as long as she had known him. 

Becca adnired jim almost at the moment she met him. They were both young when they met. Everyone in the church assumed that they would date and one day get marry. There parents were close friends so it made sense that would get together.  

Even as children they were close friends. No one was surprised when they chose to date. They weathered every storm even being seperated when he went to college and she was stil in high school. 

 When his cousign bryan invited him to his wedding,of course he was going to go. He and bryan were close. He explaned the situation to becca.becca knew bryan and his fiancée well.  She did not hessitate to agree to go. 

Neither one of them thought that it was a big deal. Both families knew that they were going.  Members of his farthers church including his parents attended the wedding. They were shocked when they were taken to the office of the deen and questoned about the weading. Jim took the blame.  

Both tried to horner the school despite there disagreements over this. Becca did not think that this was a serious issue. She had her parents permission to attend the wedding.  She did not understand the controversy.  She did not believe that jim should have been censured over this.  

That event was a wattershed for him. It was a begging for hin. It led to a rethink for him. She did not see it as a big issue at first. She and him discused it at length.  He saw this as a threat to there relationship. She saw it as a time of growth. 

 As he decided to explore churches beyond the realm of i.f.b ,she vowed to go with him. She was schocked when he sugested that mayby they should post pone or even canceil the engagement.  She did not want that. He was her family.  She would fight for it. 

 He wanted to visit the church himself at first. She would not have it. She wanted to go with him. She insisted he take her with him. 

She woke up sunday morning.  She took a shower. She got ready for church. She wore a red top ans black skirt. She tried not to look too dresed up but she did not want to look out of place either. She felt like a fish out of water. She figured she would ajust. She braded her hair. 

She drove to his house. She parked the car. He greated her. He wore a buttonef down collared shirt and brown pants. He always wore a suit and tie. Now he was trying to go native.  

He felt out of place. That was ok.  He knew that it would subside. He had considered giving up. He considered trying to mend fences with his old home church and the i.f.b. he decided to stic with it.  

He looked troubled.  She could tell that he was having doubts about all this. She smiled at him. “This is realy a nuty idea is it bec?”he asked.  “No its not. It will be fine. ” she assured him. “I hope so.” he said. 

They went in his car, he drove.  They arived at the church.  The church was techically a baptust church but it droped the name Baptist from its title. It was still incorporated as faith bible Baptist church but on the air it was called faith bible church. 

The car parked. Jim nervously got out of the car. She was not quite as skidish as he was.  Jim had come up with his idea but was reluctent to follow though with it. They both left the car and walked to the church.

They were greated by an usher that gave them the buliton. They saw bryan and jess.  “You actualy came?” Bryan said.  “I have not started melting yet. ” jim said. “It took an hour in for the last fundy who visited hear to melt.  ” bryan said. 

“We are really glad that you you came! ” jess said “thank you. We are glad to be hear. ” becca said. They folowed Bryan and his wife into the main sanctuary. They sat down next to his cousign and his wife.

Jim could not get over his nerves. He was suprised that becca was not nervous. She seemed perfectly calm. He found that odd sence he felt like as conservative as he was, she was well to the right of him.    Yet she was fine with all this.  Even before the service began even in the parking lot,he considered leaving and abandoning all of this and going back to gbc. He did not. He decided to stic with it. Then the service began.  

The church had started around the same time as gospel baptist had. It was started by a independent Baptist pastor.  It soon became more and more evengelical. It became more contenpary. Eventually it droped the baptist from its name.  It becane a cominity church. 

The pastor gave opening renarks. Then the worship team took over. They sand contemporary prase and worship songs many that could be heard on klove and other ccm stations. People in the audience were singing along dancing and lifting thrre hands. It looked more like a penticoastal church then a baptist one. Jim was a bit uncomfortable.  Becca was singing along. She did not apear to have the moral qums he did.

It seemed like the music went on foever. He was hoping it would end soon. Becca was enjoying it. She tried to be a little more reserve then she otherwise might be. 

He liked the preaching.  He was suprised that it was biblicaly based. He figured that he could be spritualy fed hear. He still was no sure. He would rather go hear then any other evengelical church he suposed. Mayby he should go back to his old church. 

After the service he introduced them to his pastor. “Pastor do you remember my cousign jim and his fiancée becka.”bryan asked. “I do. It is good to see you. Bryan said your considering coming hear full time?”pastor jeff asked. “We are definently considering it.”jim said.

“Well i hope you will come hear. This is a good church i think.  We are interested in serving the lord and impacting the greater community.  There are plenty of opportunities to serve. I went to fubdimental biblical uniservity. I went to school with pastor clark greig.”he said.

“Are you two stil on speaking terms?”jim asked. “We are. I still attend the spring conferences albiet in disguise. Clark and i are still goos friends. I avoid manny of the staf including dr. Wyit.”jeff said. “Doctor wyit is the reason i have left the movement.  “Jim said. 

“Bryan mentoned his wedding caused some controversy. We dont have a lot of doctrinal differences with f.b.u mostly stylistic ones. I am sorry that yoir attendence caused difuclties. “Jeff said. “It was a shock. ” bryan said.

“I can imagine.  We do not want to step on anyone’s toes.  We try to stand on the word of God. If the lord had not said we try not to make it a law. I hope to talk to you futher on this. Plese consider making this your church home” jeff said. 

Becca was sold but jim was not so sure. He was not sure that he could settle down hear. They talked to a few people then went to the car. 

“I really liked it. I felt very welcome. I would like to get to know jess more. “Becca said. “I liked it. Yea i am wiling to give it a shot. “Jim said. “You sont seam totaly convinced. ” she said. “I just dont know. It is probably the best evengelical church in the area. I just dont know. I am willing to give it a chance. I think we can make it work.”jim said. “I think this will be a good fit for us. “She said. He had his doubts. He would give it a chance. 

To be continued. 

Next up at evening service becca is invited to a ladies group.  Jim strugles with his doubts. 

Wake up call part three 

I was tired. I fell asleep on the couch. I could sleep anywhere and had. I did not mind sleeping on the couch. I fell asleep.  It was a warm night so i did not need a blanket.  I slept soundly. 

I woke up in the middle of the night. Becky came over to me. She wore a bathrobe over her night gowan. “Babe! Come on. Come to bed! “She pleaded with her. “I ‘d really rather stay out hear right now.  ” i said.

“Why? Why are you shutting me out?” she asked. “I just need time to sort all this out rebecca. I don’t know you. I dont know who you are. I can’t just jump into this. ” i told her.

“Im sory you lost your memory. Your stil my husband.  I need you.  I need you to be in this!” she said. “I need time!”i said in response.  “Craig! You cant do this to me! I have needs too. I have tried to be caring. I know this is hard. Your not the only one affected by this. ” she said. 

“I dont know what to think. In my mind i went to bed a belchor . i wake up two years later . im maried to a girl i never met. Your a complete stranger. I dont know what to think or feel!” i said. 

“What about mr craig? I am the weaker vessel hear. I realize in your mind you woke up and discovered you have a wife. You cant just walk out on me. You have obligations. You need to grow up. ” she said.

“It is hard for me to process all of this. I have no idea how to handle all of this. My system is totally overloaded.  My life is totaly different now. I dont know if im coming ot going. ” i said 

“Im sory to inconvenience you. I did not think that it was asking too much for my husband to act like my husband!  A lack of no memory is not an excuse.  I am sory it happened.  Your being so absorbed and i dont like it. I am sick to death woried about you. I am woried this will get worse.  I am woried that more is wrong. Now i have to deal with you being all loopy.  The worst part is that i know that you dont trust me. Your suspicious of me. I worked do hard to earn your trust. I thought i had. “She said. 

“I know this is hard on you. I went to bed single.  No wife not even a hint of a romantic interest.  I wake up maried to a complete stranger.  You have to see this from my perspective.”i said.

“Really!  You got to be kiding! I see it from your side. I get it! You have obligations!  You and i had insurmountable hurdles we had to climb. I need security. I need stability.  It is your job to provide that. ” she said. 

“I know that. ” i said. “I need my husband. I want the craig Wallace i know back. He would never do this. Please come to bed with me?”she pleaded. 

“I need time! ” i told her. “You had it. You weighed the options. You went ahead and perposed to me.  Come talk to me when you decide to become an adult again.  ” she said.she went to the bedroom and shut the door.

The truth is i did not trust her. How could i trust a complete stranger? I never met her before. I wondered if i would have felt the same way if she had been independent fundamental baptist? Would i be a sceptical? 

I was rilled up but i finaly fell asleep. I woke up the next norning. I was out if it at first.  I began to remember what had happened the night before.i was still on the couch. I stil saw the evidence of Becky.  I was stil in the same predicament i had been the night before.  Nothing had changed. 

A part of me hoped to wake up where i left off. Back two years ago. That did not happen.  I was still hear. This was not a bizare dream. 

If i did find myself back in time back two years ago what would i do?  Would i forget about this enigmstic becky? Could i? 

I had no idea what time is was.  I saw the clock and saw that it was a little after seven. I decided to get up. I eas going to put the cofee on but it was already on. 

She walked in. “Do you want anything fot breakfast?  “She asked.  “No im fine. I am not realy hungery. ” i said.”ok. Cofee is made!” she said.”i see that. ” i said. I poured the cofee into a cup. She went into another room. 

I sat down at the table and siped the cofee.  I was not sure what to do. We were on our honeymoon.  Neither one of us felt that way. This was no longer my house well not totaly. It had been beckafied. I needed time to think. 

I got dressed and decided to go for a walk. I heard the sounds of birds chirping. The property outside had not realy changed. Birds chirping reminded me of my childhood.  I found it nostalgic.  I would not clasify me a nature person but i like nature. 

It was a beutifull day. I walked around the land. I tried to colect my thoughts. I wanted to make sense of all of this.  The lane brought back memories. After colege i wanted to start a church. For years fundamental baptist wanted to start a church hear in hagervile. There was only one church in hagervile before. It was a nac3 congregational church that only had seven people who attended. 

There was a burden to start a church there, no one steped up to start it. I was originaly sent as a kind of misionart pastor from the church i grew up in. A kind of timouthy. The church took off sooner then i expected. Before i knew that a core group had emerged.  

The church once edtablished was released from the group of churches that started it. I was voted in as pastor. The church was in its own building before it was let on its own. I brought my house after becoming pastor. I decided to start puting down roots hear. I tried to forget about all that that had gone on. 

I kept on walking. I wished i could drive. I would love to go for a drive. I had to walk instead per doctor orders. 

I walked off my property.  I liked this neighborhood. I remembered when i first moved hear, i imagined taking my significant orther on long walks. I had no idea if Becky and i took long walks though hear. I am gusing we had.i was surprised that i was thinking about her. 

I kept walking. I was not ready to head back. It was not quite home anymore. My mind went in a thousand different directions.  Eventualy it came to her. 

How could i have falling in love with her? A former Methodist minister? The evidence indicates that i did. That was so hard to believe.  It seemed implausible.  Yet that was what happened.  She had embraced independent fundamental Baptist.  I suspect she caried bagage from her old life. She stil listened to k love and even secular music at times.

I always imagined that my wife would have similer experiences . i expected that she would grow in the i.f.b as i had. I figured she would go to an i.f.b colege.  That was not becky. Why did i let myself fall in love with her? What i was thinking? It made no sense.

As i thought it hit me like a ton of bricks. I did comit to her. I would not have made a decison like that lightly. I must have agonized over it. Probably spent time hear. She we broke up ten times . i prayed for a bit. I knew i had to get back to my bride and now.

I ran home. I suspected that becky might be very mad at me. I had no idea how to deflate the situation. I rushed home as fast as i could.  I rushed home as fast as i could.  I felt bad about how things had occurred.  I really messed up. 

I had felt so overwhelmed.  I felt overwhelmed.  I needed to stop. I needed to process things. Now i had. I had kind of woke up from a stupor. I could be ok. Had i sabotaged things with Becky? If i had, was it irreparable?

I ran back to the property. I had no idea how she would react. I did not know how to corect it. I had to try. The trip home seemed like an eternity.  I finaly made it home. I saw my house in thr distence. I ran inside. 

I had no idea how she would react.  Would she be mad at me? How can i resolve this? I sinply had no idea. I went inside. Becky wore a gray shirt and jeens. She was barefoot.  Aperently she wore pants if she was mad at me. 

“Where did you go?” she asked. ” i went to down the road and back. ” i said. “You probably dont remember but we have a rule that we always let the orther person know where we are. ” she said.

“Your right. I should have told you. Im sory. “I told her. “I have labled myself a feminist. I like everyone to think that i am brave and strong.  The truth is i am not that strong.  When i am with you i don’t want to be strong. I am ok being the weaker one. Your memory loss does not alow you to renig on your responsibilities. I have committed myself to you. You have to be the strong one. I need you to be the leader. I need you to be in this. I need you!  She told me. 

“I am sorry. I am sory i made this harder on you. I was so confused. I feel so lost.” i adnited. “Let me help you. Lets face this together.  Trust me!  She pleaded.

“I dont remember making the vows to you. I pledge to love hornor and cherish you as long as we both shall live. I pledge to be the best husband i can.” i said.

“You may now kiss the bride!” she said. She leened over and kissed him. He hugged her. She held on to him. She held on to her. “You are stil hear.it is still you.  ” she said.we held on to eachorther.

I decided that at that moment that i would be committed to this marriage.  Memory or no memory i was maried to her. That would no change. I was ready to charge in at full strength.  

To be continued.  

Only a matter of time part 8

Kevin was part of a summer missons trip. His team was assisting a new church plant.  While in the town he met a penticoastal lady naimed becky. He felt drawn to her.

On a Sunday night she called him. “Hey beck!” he said. “How was church? ” she asked. “Excelent. The preaching was really good. We had some new people.  How was your church?” he asked. 

“Really good. I am glad things are going good at your church.  “She said. “I am too. ” he said. 

That week he was busy with various activities in the church. He did some visatation folowering up with visitors in the church. They made some new contacts as well. He was also busy with mid week service. They did sone yard work and other work. 

Becky tried to get back into the word. She had seen her relationship with the lord slip.  She now wanted to hold on to the lord with all she had. She realized that He had never stoped holding on to her. She started to journal again.  She tried to hold on to this. She wanted to capture it. 

Kevin and becky continued to talk on the phone. She found him to be an encouragement.  She was surprised by that. He was a cessationest. Yet when she spoke to him he challenged her to keep on with the lord. He challenged her to go deeper. She was thankful to the lord for him.  

They did not see a lot of each other but got together on tusdays for cofee. A friendship really started to develop.  One that was growing.  The signs were that it would continue to grow. 

At the same time his sister sarah seemed to be developing a friendship with fellow penrucostal eric. Kevin was a bit unsure about it.  “You know i think eric and sarah really like other.” she saud during a tuesday cofee meet. “I am not sure about that. It because i dont want sarah to grow up. It is not because he is penticoastal.  “He said. Becky chucked.  “I know that. ” she said. 

 One day sarah went to see becky. “Becky on saterday kev and i are going to see our parrents home for his birthday. Do you want to come?” she asked.

“Oh i Dont know. I dont want to imtrude on family time. It has been a couple of months sense you seen them. I dont want to get in the way of that. ” becky said. 

“I talk to my parents. They would love for you to come. Please. I would love for you to be there.  I know kevin would too. ” becky told her.

“Are you sure they dont mind?” she asked. “No its fine. Are you coning?” sarah asked. She was really nervous about it. “Oh ok. I will come. ” becky answered. Sarah smiled. “Excellent.  ” she said. 

That saterday becky drove to where kevin and sarah were staying. Becky decide to ware a skirt not pants. She arrived promptly.  

“Happy birhday. “She said.she handed him a present. ” thank you. “He said.”you want to open this hear not at your parents!”she incisted. He laughed. He opened the present. It was a book. “God’s on fire. The penticoastal revolution.  ” he said. 

“It is a realy good book on the history of the penticoastal movement. ” she said.  “Let me gues. It is from a penticoastal perspective?  “He remarked.  “You got it?”he said. He laughed.he looked at the cover. “To Kevin,i am so glad to have met you. The lord is at work in your life. I just wish you would fully embrace the holy sprit but mayby this book will inspire you.  Happy birthday. Love becky.”  

Kevin and Becky talked almost the whole way there. They were playfull. Sarah barely got a word in edgewise. She was fine with that. She thought that they were really cute. They engaged in a lot of  bentor. 

The car arived in drake. “This is my home town.  “He said to her. “You grew up hear?”becky asked. “Sence i was seven years old.  Say was four years old. ” he said. “How many are in your family? ” becky asked. “There are seven. I am the oldest. The youngest is two mounths. ” kevin said. 

 He pointed out some scenes. A famous bridge. There church.there first church. The uniterian church.he pointed out the penticoastal church.he pointed out some houses and some other sites. Then they arived at his house. The car parked. They all got out. 

Becky was a bit nervous. She tried to stay calm. They walked inside. She folowed kevin and sarah to the door.the door opened. There mom and dad came out with there baby dsughter. There younger siblings came out with them.  they were eiger to see there brother and sister. 

They huged there family. They were so happy to see them. They were so happy to see them. “You must be becky!” his mom asked. “I am. It is good to meet you. ” becky said. “Kevin and Sarah have spoken highly of you. We are pleased to Finaly meet you. ”  mom said. 

They went inside. Becky realy liked his family.  They were all very nice. They were funy. They made her feel very welcome.  

After he opened presents, they eat cake and ice cream. “Can you join me out on the steps?” he asked. “Sure!” she said. They went outside. ” beck i am so glad you came tonight! ” kevin remarked. “I am glad i came too. ” she said. 

“Look i wanted to ask you something.” he said. “What is it?” she asked. “Well i was wondering if you would consent to i Dont know dating courting what ever you want to call it.” he said. 

She stood up. “Oh! Kevin i cant date you!”she said. “Why not?” he asked. “Your not penticoastal.  “She said. “You wont date a non penticoastal?” he asked. “I would rather date a penticoastal.  Look your a great guy. I cant. Im sory. ” she said 

“Im sory. I wont bring it up again.” he said. ” im sory.  I know this was not what you wanted to hear. Your a  dear friend kev. ” she said.  “I know that. ” he said.  “Your upset?” she asked. “Im fine!” he said.

She admited later that she was staetled. She had not expected it. She later told him she wished she had taken a step back.  She wished she had thought it over. She regreted spoiling his birthday.  She was just was not ready yet. When they did get together they laughed about this day. 

That day he had no idea what to do. He realy thought that the door was totaly closed never to be opened. 

They went back inside. The rest of the night went fairly well. They tried to hide the fact that anything went ary. 

On the way home they were qiet. Gone was the bantering that had gone on on the ride to. Sarah had to do all the talking.  She tried to engage them but nothing hapened. It was a long trip back.  

They brought her to where they wete staying. Sarah said her good night. “I am realy sory i ruined your birthday pary. It was not my intention. ” she said. “I know that.  Its ok. I am glad you got to meet my family. ” he said.  “Well have a good night.”she said.”you too.” he said

She drove off. He watched her go.”you ok?” sarah asked. ” i asked her if she wanted to date me. She said no. Doctrinal differences.  ” he said. “You knew that it would be an issue.  “Sarah said. “Yea i did. Becky is so special to me. I thought we could work on it. ” he said. 

He went upstairs. He went to his room.he prayed a bit. He tried to make sense of all this. 

Becky was unsetled. She had no peace.she did not know what to do.she tried to focus. 

End of part 8. 

When plans change

In my other blog,Christian fiction i wrote a post about a young man who grew up fundinental Baptist.  He ended up leaving and going more evengelical. He breaks up his engagement and they go there seprite ways only to meet up later on. 

This got me thinking.  What if they stayed together?  I wanted to be examine these struggles.  Can a relationship built on independent fundamental Baptist servive if one wants to leave it? What about there parents?  

“When plans change.” 

James ball grew up in an independent fundamental Baptist church. His dad was a pastor. He knew becca lynn for most of his life. They went from acquaintance to friendship and then from friendship to close friend ship. They then formerly began a courtship right before he went to bible colege. 

He had gotten formal permisson to perpose marriage.  She said yes. They started to plan there weading and lives and ministry together.  Then things changed. 

James grew up traditional.  He was hardly armish. He liked the outdoors.he played non violent vidio games.  He did not own a tv. He had no intetest ib tv or movies. He read from the king james bible and only listened to hymms. 

Over time he became disillusioned with the i.f.b. he came to see that the i.r.b sometines took seperation too far. For james,there was one event that was the watter shed noment. The straw that broke the cammel’s back. His cousign was a non i.f.b. they had been very close. His cousign asked him to be his best man. There was ccm being played at thr wedding and reception. There was even dancing. His college sanctioned him for attending and participating.  He gave uo his seat in the student government and resigned his post as a dorm supervisor.

He had graduated from the colege but a bit battered and blody. His star within the i.f.b was in discendence. He continued to be involved in his farther’s church. His firm beliefs began to buckle. Despite that,his relationship with becca remained strong. 

Becca’s grandparents were missionaries to the philipines. Her farther was a deacon and sunday school teacher.  Becca had admired jim for a long time.  She saw him grow in his faith. People in the church saw them as a ligical couple. No one was surprised when they decided to formerly date. 

When they decided to date.,they did so with the expextation that they would one day be maried. There church was also eagerly anticipating it.  

She went with him to the weading. They both knew that it would not be an i.f.b cerimony. She knew he was brothered by the sanctioning.  It was the gateway controversy that sent him into a frenzy. He tried to shield her from his personal reevaluation.  

He had been distant from her. He avoided her at times. When they got together it was tense. There were moments of silience. She tried to engage him but he changed the subject. They were growing apart. 

After weeks if little contact he asked her to dinner.  “Bec i cant do this anymore. ” he said. “What cant you do?” she asked. “I feel stifled at gospel baptist church and the i.f.b in general. I cant abide by this rigidness. There are issues that are not speled out in the bible. I am leaving gospel Baptist church.  I cant stay. I need to get away from gbc and the i.f.b for a while. “He told her.

“I knew that was a possibility.  Where are we going?” she asked. ” i am going to try out my cousign’s church. I may check out a few churches. I dont expect you to go with me bec. This is my thing.  I assumed you would stay at g.b.c?” he said. 

“Oh no ! Where you go i go. Your new home church will be my home church. You go all evengelical so do i. “She said.

“About that.i think we should postpone the engagement. When we agreed to be maried, we were in a different place. I think we need to delay it for now. ” he said. 

“No!i could not disagree more. I agreed to mary you. Not you the independent fundamental Baptist ninister in training but you. When you perposed i know you were having doubts. Dont push me away! I want to mary you no matter what. I dont want to delay it . i want to procede as scheduled. ” she told him.

“Look bec i dont plan to come back. I am leaving the i.f.b. i am a firm believer in the king James bible.  That wont change. Other thing i may reevaluate. I may change. I am not sure getting ready for mariege under these circumstances is a good idea. I think you might believe that i am goung though a phase. I am not. I am not planing to return. “He said. 

“I know that. I know you. I know how you are. I know when you have made a decison,you stick with it. I have no intention of trying to change your mind or talk you out of it. I want to go with you. Dont abandon me! Lets do this together. This can be an adventure. This will inpact our family.  Your my family. Dont shut me out. “She said. 

“You might change your mind. You might decide that you want to stay with g.b.c!” he said. “You have made a decison. You considered it carefully and thoughtfuly. You dont do things on the fly. I trust you. You are spiritual leader of our family.i trust you.  Now i need you to trust me.  I understand your fears. I may not fully like our new church. I will adjust.  I dont want to postpone or delay our planed wedding. Please! “She pleaded. 

“The thing is i am not sure i am doing the right thing. I am afraid i am not. I dont want to drag you into this in case i am wrong.  I wish that the i.f.b would hold firm to king janes bible,separation,dress but mayby not be as rigid on other things.  I am ok with not using power point. I Dont think power point should be associated with a carnal church. I think a pastor should ware a suit abd tie to sunday services. Whoever again if a pastor does not ware a tie,i Dont think it is evidence of carnality.  It seems there is no third way.its fundimental or evengelical. I am a point in my life where is something is not bibically prohibited,i have no right to make it a mandate. I cant do it any more.  I an not sure im right on this. If i go off a clif i Dont want to take you with me. ” he said. 

“I knew thats where you were. Lets prayer about this. Lets be carefull. Lets do it together.  Do you still want to marry me?” she asked.

“Of course i do. My feelings about i.f.b have changed. My feelings have not changed.i still love you. That has not changed. I do stil want to marry you.” he assured her. 

“I am wiling to explore different churches with you. I will go where you go.  Double minded man is unstable in all his ways. We do this we do this. No more talk of breaking off the engagement.  This will be hard.i will be uncomfortable. This could be harder on me then it is on you. I can handle it. Promise me we are stil engaged?” she asked. 

“Ok.  We will do this together!” he said “no more talk of breaking off yhe engagement? ” she asked. “No more talk of a break up! ” he assured her. “Thank you. “She said. 

He drove her home.  She hugged him.they did not engage in a lot of physical contact but did engage in some. She held on to him. She kissed him on the cheek.something she did not not do often.  They said there goodbyes.

That night he called his cousign. “Hi brandon its jim. ” he said. “Hey jim. “He said ” hey.  Becca and i want to visit your church this sunday. We are considering making a change. “He said.

“I had a feeling that was the case. Please come on by. I am so glad becca is coming with you.  No presure but you two would like to make a fine edition to the church.jess and i will save a seat for you. ” he said.”thanks” he said.

To be continued.  

Wake up call part two

Previously on wake up call

Craig a young pastor wakes up discovering he got married. He had no memory of marrying this young lady. He does not even remember meeting her. At first he tried to bluf his way out of this but finaly he decided to tell her that something is up. 

“Look! I think that something is wrong. I think i need to go to the hospital. I think i might need to get an m.r.i. ” i sugested.  

 She had been really upset with me.her whole countenance and body language changed. “Oh babe! Are you ok? “She asked. “I dont know. “I said. I decided not to dugar coat it. 

If i needed evidence that she loved me,i did not any more.  I dont think i knew what marriege really was until that moment. How could i ever doubt she loved me after that.

She drove.we took her car. She had a secular radio starion on but changed it to k love. She held my hand on the way to the hospital.  They did conduct an m.r. i on me. 

“We found no evidence of a brain tumor or cancer. We did evidence of inflamation. It is not life threatning but it may be the cause of your memory loss. I see no reason to keep you hear but i want to see you in a few days. I reccomend that you dont drive or operate heavy machinery for now. “The doctor told him.

“She held my hand the whole time.”i cant remember the last two years. I cant remember meeting my wife or anything about our relationship.  I got maried a few fays ago but cant remember it ” i told the doctor. 

“I honestly dont know if your memory will return or not. The inflamation is inhibiting your short term memory. Why? I have no idea. “The doctor told him. 

After i was alowed to go home. “Babe! I am so sorry.  I had no idea “she said. “I was afraid to tell you. Afraid thatyou would not believe me.how could you beleve me?” he said. 

The car parked. “You ok?”she asked.”yea i feel fine. “I told her.we walked out of the car. We walked to the house. We went to the bedroom.

“I should not have gotten mad at you.  I am insecure.  I am woried you will regret your decison to marry me. You always tease me about it. “She said.

“Why are you insicure? It seems we have a close relationship.  ” i remarked. ” well i am afraid that you will get sick of me. I am a handfull. I am not particually independent fundamental baptists. “She said. 

“Oh! “I said. I was suprised. I figured i would marry a fellow i.f.b member. I gues i could see myself marying a non fundimental baptist. I could have never beleved my wife would be a non baptist. 

“I cant believe you did not know. You see when we met i pastored a united methodist church. “She said.”that would explain the reverend becky nickname. ” i remarked. “Yea. Not my favorate pet name but i adjust to it. “She said. 

“So how did we meet? “He asked. “Well you were heading home after visiting ambassasor . my church used to be free methodist but joined the united Methodist church. In the united Methodist tradition,they send pastors me in this case. We chatted after the service.  Then qe realized that everyone else had left. We went out for cofee. You paid. We talked for an hour. A week later you showed up. You brought me coffee with the extra turbo schot that i like.  I came to see you. I came on “businesses” . we kept meeting up. After 7 dates,  we decided we were dating. ” she told him. 

“Doctrinal differences were not an issue then? ” i asked. “Oh it was. We broke up ten times. The longest lasted a week. After the last breakups, you came to my office with a promise ring. You huged me and refused to let go. You promised me that you were in it no matter what. We both cried that day. That was the day i knew i was going to marry you. ” she told me. 

“Are you still a united Methodist pastor?” i asked. “No .i steped down. It was my choice. You always woried you put too much presure on me to leave. I came at that decison on my own. I grew up in a baptist church. I rebelled. I rerurned to christianity. I wanted to do it on my terms. I never felt right about it. I felt a fredom in doing it. The firat week i was i. A funk. You were so suportive of me. You loved on me that week.you made me feel so special. ” she said.

“You really are in love with me?” he asked. “Madly and deeply! I know it might not make sense. The hear does what the heart does. It did come out of no where.  ” she said. 

“You are in love with me!” i said.she took my hand and put it in myine. “It was not love at first sight.  It was incrimental. I was over a long period of time. Seing your face always makes me smile. There is no doubts in my mind that God created you for me and vice versa. I dont doubt that one bit. I thank the lord for you. ” she said. 

It was a bit uncomfortable. No one has ever talked to me like that. I had never been in love. I was not sure that it excisted. I bearly knew you but i know she loved me. I was overwhelmed. I wish i could remember all of this. 

“So am i in love with you?” he asked.”i am prety sure you are. You always show me that you are loved. You do little and big things.  Your always thinking about me. I remember being at a bible study and getting a text from you that said i loved you. Everyone wandered why i was blushing. ” she said. 

I did not know her. I had no idea who she was. As far as i knew i had never met her. I did not remember meeting her. I saw the mariege license.  According to the law we were maried. 

“I can see why you were so upset. “He told her. “I should have known that something was wrong. I overacted.  You were not acting like you.” she said. 

“Its ok.there is no way you could have known. ” i told her. “I really hope you will get your memory back. I want us to get back to being us. I want to start our lives together. “She said. 

“I want that too. I desperatey want to remember.  ” i told you. “I hope you do. Your different. Your stil you but at the same time your not the same. I love you no matter what but i miss you the you im use to. “She said. 

“This is hard on you. ” i remarked.”very! I know you like no one else does. I know you dont trust me yet. I see the difference in your eyes. Your not the same person i have come to know. Your almost from a different time. A time before we met. I am a conplete stranger to you. ” she said. 

“You have me at a disadvantage. I dont know me but you know me. ” i said.”you dont fully accept that we are maried. Not yet. You have your shields up. I know that. I can tell these things. I know you.”she said. 

She was right. I did not want it to be true. If this was a trick, it was a very eleborate one. I was fairly certain that it was not a sham. I probably was maried.  It was still hard.

I had no idea what to do. I was not prepared for this. I found i did cate about her. I found it dificult to fully embrace her. Why did i mary her? It does not make any sense. She did not seam to be my type. She is strong willed,complicated yet i do myself drawn to her somehow.  

I sat om the couch for a while. She decided to go to bed. “I am going to bed. Are you coming?” she asked.”i want to sit hear for a bit. I will be in later. ” i said. “Ok. “She said im a disappointed tone.

This was my house. It had been beckafied. Our life had been intermingled. Everywhere i looked,i saw evidence of her. I went to my den. I saw a picture of us. There was a book i did not recognize. It was entitled a history of Methodistsm. I figured it was a guft from bec. I went to the first page. There was a note from bec. “Well i figured you needed this book. I have realy shaken up your life. I came in like a wreaking ball. Love reberend becky. ” 

I found my journal. There were entries i never remembered writing.i saw my wedding day journal.  “Wow! Today is my wedding day! I have heard orther people say that they were going to marry there best friend. How can my soul mate be a former methodist minister? A girl that qoates star trek,ocasionaly listen to secular music, and describes herself as a recovering feminist. Becky qoating b 5 would say that the heart does what the heart does. ” 

“I know that she was created for me.she had the talents and abilities that complimented me and my ministry. She fills in my gaps. I am so excited to begin my life with her. ” 

I could not read any more. I closed the book. I neded time to process this. I put the journal away. I went back to the living room. I sat down on the couch. I pondered.  I was really confused. I understood her position.  I was skidish about embracing you.

It was odd. I felt that i haf a stranger in my own house. I was a bit uncomfortable with her being hear. I know the evidence sugest that we are ligally maried. It seams that we are bibilically maried. I have a bard times with all of this. 

I was tired. I fell asleep on the sofa.i could sleep anywhere and have. I did not mind sleeping on the couch. It was a warm night and i did not need a blanket. I slept soundly. 

To be continued.  

Wake up call 

I am craig. I am a graduate of an independent independent baptist colege. I am pastoring a smal church i help start in a smal town.i kept myself prety buisy. I kept myself buisy but i did not mind.i enjoyed serving the lord. 

I did not have much time for a social life . While most pastors these days are maried, i was stil single. I wanted to be maried but ministry kept me preocupied.  I did not feel comfortible dating someone in my church. 

One morning i woke up. I was in my bed room. The room looked different. The sheets were different. The room had been redecorated.  There were things i did not recognize. There were stuf i did not remember ever having. 

What was going on? This made no sense. I looked at my hand. I was waring a wedding ring. This was bizare.  I looked at a picture frame.  In the photo was myself with a girl that i presumed was my wife. I did not recognize her. We looked happy. In the picture we were far apart. If i had gotten maried,would int i remember it?

The door to the bathroom opened.i was startled.  I jumped. “Babe you ok?” she asked. “Yea i just got lost in thought. I did not hear you opening the door. ” he said. “Lost in thought? Out oh! We have only been maried for three days. Too late to back out now! Your stuck with me!”she said in a playful tone.

“Yes it seams som “he responded.”your not having second thoughts are you? I know it seams like your from vulcan and i am from rissa but we have made it this Far! “She said. 

“No im fine. I am still waking up. I am still groggy.  You know me i am not a morning person. “He said. 

“I know that. Everyone knows that. Mr. Vern warned me. “She said “i am not suprised. ” i said.

“Craig allen wallice what is going on?”she asked. “What do you meean? “He asked. “I have been in hear for a few minutes. No hugs no kisses, no teasing me about my former profession.  Nothing!”she said. 

I was reluctent to engage her in physical contact.  Although it seems we are ligally maried,my memory loss is concerning. Preferred not to engage her as a wife until i figured this all out. 

“You have not been replaced by a changling have you?”she asked. “What?”i asked. “Never mind!”she said. “Are you upset with me? “I asked.  “You think? Your acting all loopy. More then usual. I want my husbands back. You dont kiss me. Three days of marriage and your not into it any more. “She said

I tried to change the subject. “I love this picture!” i said .”your sister took the pictute. She tried to get you to get closer to me. You and pc!”she remarked. 

“Jill took that picture?” i asked. “No tracy! How could you forget ?”she asked. “Tracy yea. She loves cameras. ” i said.

I could see that she was quite upset.i had no idea who she was.to my knowledge i had never met her.i had no idea what to do. 

“Yea !”she said. She was clearly despondent.  “Tracy and jill wanted me to get an instragram account . i never saw the need for it. ” i told her.

“Please tell me your not going to go into one of your famous or infamous diatribes on social media.i think i can recite it verbatim. “She said. 

“My fanily uses sushes me before i get too far. ” i told her. “Why are you acting like you dont know me craig? I am your wife and very best friend. You look at me like i am a stranger. What happened? Your not looking at me like you usually do!”she commented.

She looked so distressed.  She seemed to be in love with me. I did not need to ask. I have never seen that kind of love from a non family member. I had all the evidence i needed that she loved me. I hated seing the hurts in her eyes. To me she was a complete stranger. 

“I guess i feared that you would get tired of me eventually.  I never thought it would happen after three days of marriege. “She said. 

I had no idea what to do. I felt i had to have my gaurd up until i figured out what was going on. I tried to bluf my way of this but she called me on it every time. I may not know her but she knew me. 

What could i tell her? Sory hunnie i dont know who you are. I dont remember anything about you. I dont even know your naime. I felt that i had to keep my gaurd up. I needed to verify in my mind that we were indeed maried. 

“You have no response? Unbelievable! “She said. She left the room. She put on flip flops. She got her purse. “Where are you going?”i asked. “I cant be hear right now. I am going for a drive. I am puting on seculer radio. When i come back i want my husbend to be hear. ” she said. 

I had no idea what to do. Should i follow her? I did not know anything about her. I let her go. She got in her car and drove away. Apearently we had two cars. The car i had and hers.

I probably should have gone after her. I had no idea who she was . she was a complete stranger to me. I knew i was hurting her but what could i do? I have no memory of meeting her.

 I looked around the room. My stuf was there but so was her things. She seemed to be a startrek and science fuxtion fan. She liked mysteries and romance books. 

I looked at my face book account. I saw wedding pics. I looked happy. We both looked happy.  There was a clip of the weding kiss. I clicked on it. 

My farther was the presider. He said that i could kiss the bride.  I leened over and kissed her. She was so happy.  I saw that i liped something to her before i kissed her. I could not hear what i said but i was prety sure i knew what i told her. The clip ended.  I knew some of the people who liked the clip but not everyone. 

I checked my profile. It said i was maried to rebecca garner wallice. Ok so her name is rebecca. Why did i not remember anything about her? I asked my dog fredie about rebecca.he was not too helpfull. 

She was prety. She seemed to like me. What do i do? Should i embrace her? Can i embrace her biblically? How can i fulfil a vow i dont remember making?  Is this some jind of calvinistic predestination.  I did not want to check her profile. I wanted to really remember.  

After a while ,i heard the car pull up.it was rebecca. At least i know her name now. She came inside. “Hey rebecca! “I said. “Rebecca! Is this fornal tuesday? Do i need to call you pastor wallice? ” she asked.

“Whats wrong with rebecca?  “I asked. “At least your nit calling me reverend! “She remarked. “Why would i call you reverend? “I asked.

I was totaly confused. I had no idea what she was talking about. She was confused. “How could you not get that joke?” she asked. 

“Look i think some thing wrong. I think i need to go to the hospital. I think i might need to get an m.r.i. ” i told her. She had been realy upset with me. Her entire countenance changed as did her body language.  “Oh babe! Are you ok?” she asked. I decided i should not surget coat it. “I dont know!” i responded. “Ok come on. ” she said. 

To be continued. 

Only a matter of time part seven

“So do you have any rules for dating?”becky asked him. “Well i never really wrote it down. She has to be a belever. More then that,she has to show signs of spiritual growth and has to keep growing. I want her to have a growing faith. We have to have similer goals.a similar misson. I feel called to pastor a church in the united states. If a  lady felt called to a foregn field that would not be a good fit. Parental involvement is must. Both my parents and hers. “He said.

“I dont believe in casual dating myself.  Any dating should contain an expectations that mariege is a posibility. ” he told her. 

“Does she have to be independent fundamental baptist?”becky asked. He blushed a bit. She could tell that she hae put him on the spot. “No. Not necessarily.  I gues i assumed that she would be i.v.b but it is not necessarily a deal breaker if she is not. I want her to love the lord. I want her to be a partner in the ministry. ” he said.  

“I can tell that you have really thought. I assume that you want to be married? “Becky asked.  He smiled. “I do.  ” he responded. “I thought you did but i figured i would ask. “She said “by the way you talk i assume you also desire to be married. “He remarked. 

“I do. I am not guy crazy but i do thibk about it. Ok maybe i am. ” she said.  “So does your future husband have to be penticostal?” he asked “i would say no. I gues i assumed he would be. I know a lot of evengelical churches churches now embrace the gifts of the holly sprit.  I want someone who loves the lord. I want to be involved in some kind of ministry.  I want to be maried to someone i can partner with in the ministry stry.”she said. 

Something went off in his mind.  He got so happy. He felt like things were starting to fall into place.  He felt like this waa some kind of signal.  He never thought this would happen.

“Do you want to be in full time ministry? ” he asked. “Definently Definently! “She answered enthusiastically.  “Would you be oppen to becoming a pastor’s wife?” he asked.  

She later admitted to him that after they started dating that she totaly misinterpreted that question. She took it as academic.  It did not occur to her that he was giving essentially a pre perposal perposal.

“Yes i would be open to being a pastor’s wife. “She told him. “Oh good! “He said. She was surprised that he was as happy as he was with that answer. It had not occurred to her that he was giving a hint hint. Had she realized what he had been implying,he might have given a different answer. 

In retrospect, she was glad that she did not know what he was getting at. Both felt that the lord was briging them together.  It was in a behind the scenes kind of way. It all worked out. It worked out in a way no one could have anticipated.  

Today she was she was not ready to even think about a relationship with Kevin.  It did not even enter her radar. She considered him a friend but not a potential love interest. It did not occur to her that he did feel that way. In her mind they were too different for such a union.  She figured that he would see that that way.

She would have shocked if she knew that he felt the way he did. She did not even suspect that she might like her. Despite the failure to speak the same language they were brought closer together.  

“I am surprised that you are not romantically involved with anyone. “She commented. “I dont date to date.  I have never had any peace about pursuing anyone.there were some i almost asked out. I felt so jitery that i had to back off. You know i have never been on a date. “Kevin said. 

“Never? “She asked.  “Never! “He answered.  “Your ok with that?”she asked.  “Not always.  I have been tempted to rush a head.i almost did on a couple of occasions. I believe that God is in control.  I know he has a plan. I have to trust him.it is not always easy. I wish i could say i always handled in in the correct manner but i have not. Right now i am at peace with it. ” he said.

“Are you sure she is out there? “She asked.  “I am certain of it. “He answered.  From what i have observed, you are a godly person. Your sensitive to God”s will. I know you will make a fine husband.  “She said. 

“I know that you will make a great wife. “He told her. “You really think so? You have not caught me at my best. I was afraid that you would think the opposite. “She declared. 

“I know it gnawed at you. I see the pain in your eyes. I know that pain.you know the lord. Sometimes we learn from our failures more then our strength.  When we repent we see the power of God’s grace. Forgiveness is a vital part with God. We should never sin that grace mwy abound. When we do sin we do have an advocate with the farther. I see that in you.  God will use that in your future ministry. I know that.  You have many qalities of a good wife. Your active in the things of the lord. You will make a great wife. ” he told her. 

“So! How will you know when you have met the person God has for you? “She asked. “I am trusting in the lord. I know he has a perfect plan. “He answered.

“I am not sure how i will know. Right now i am very werry. I dont realy want to think about it. I dont want to miss it. Jake was a distraction. I hope becuase of that i wont miss what he has for me or who.”she said. 

They discused this conversation later after they had oficialy gotten together.  “Why didn’t you say anything that day kev?”she asked him.”i wanted to. I suspected that it was not the right time. I did want to scream hello im hear. “He said. She huged him and said. “Yes you are. “She said. 

“What if i do miss it?”she asked. “Keep looking. Though it terry wait for it. I know i am taking that verse out of  context.  “He said. “I wont tell anyone. ” she said.they both laughed. 

He later told her that he so badly wanted to tell her how he felt. He knew that it was not the right time. She told him that it would not have been.  “I would not have understood. I was not ready them. Some things take time. This was one of them hunnie. “She told him.

“I understand that. It was hard .it was not easy waiting.  It was Definently worth it.  ” he said.she kissed him. 

“Right not your weary.  Keep looking for Gods directionin this.keep watching for that person. Keep waiting.  This is important Becky. “He told her.  “You have my assurance on that. “She said.

She had no idea why this waa so important to him. In retrospect it made perfect sence. He believed that she would realize that he was the one God had for her in time. He had no idea when that would be. He decided to trust the lord in this. 

They decided that they should probably be going.he walked her to her car.  “I had a really good time this morning.  He smiled as he said it. She smiled back. “I did too. I am really glad we got to do this. “She said. 

“We will have to do this again sometime. “He said. “Absolutely.  I would love to. I always enjoy sending time with you!” she told him. 

“I really enjoy spending time with you as well. “He told him. “I will see you around!  She said “you got it. “He said.be watched her drive off. He really enjoyed being with her.  Things were starring to fall into place. He was excited to see how it would progress.

End of part seven.